Currently - January 2020

Why does January seem like it is a decade long?? It's like January 74th by now, right? Christmas is over bring me SPRING!! I am tired of being cold and wearing 57 layers.

My first quarter at Purdue is going well. Its just stressful balancing pre-law classes with work and family time. These days my reading material comprises Constitutional law and Supreme Court cases which is why I have not taken part in an SUYB posts in a while, I can't remember the last time I read anything. I did finish an audiobook during my commutes to the office and home.

I am also starting the packing process to move in March. My theory is that the more I can pre-do now the easier the process will be in March as I will just be starting a new round of classes. We have not found a house yet, so the move is a temporary move. I just didn't want to one sign another year lease or two pay more for a six-month lease.  I will say house-hunting only looks fun on an HGTV show.  Just me? Ok..  I have learned that I really want more of a turn key property - I don't have the patience for "fixer-upper" that doesn't come with Chip and Joanna to drive it!

Another thing I have had little time for is TV, but I have really gotten into the Netflix original You.. Oh My! Anyone else watching this?

My Christmas tree and decor are still up - because SCHOOL. Considering just wrapping it in saran wrap or tossing it over the balcony and shutting the door!

The Jeep needs an oil change - again time.  Hell, I even stopped getting my nails done and my roots are waving for attention.  I started doing my own dip nails at home because I can do that at 11 at night in my jammies while re-watching the seminar for one of my classes to prep for the quiz.  


What are y'all up to while we wait for it to warm up???

Time Flies

It is wild to me that I have been in St Louis for a little over a year now. I arrived here with a broken heart, a u-haul with a few things, towing my car and my cat. I had no plan and no clues.  I did have a tribe of hugely supportive women and a desire to really live my life.  After a few weeks, I had a job and an apartment.  A few weeks after that I had furniture. I also had found more confidence in myself.

This July I look back and I don't even recognize the woman who crash landed in St Louis:

Tomorrow I start back to school. I have enrolled in a Bachelors of Science in Business program. I have spent the last few months dealing with the red tape involved in getting student loans which is always a pain in the ass but more so when factor in having to disentangle someone else's income from yours because you no longer are in that household, that income no longer applies to you BUT when you enroll in school for 2019 - 2020 the 2016 income tax return is what determines your financial aid.. 

I have been living by myself for a year, I had never before lived on my own, I was terrified when I came to St Louis, scared to death at how I was going to do this. Yet, I just did it. I took a lease out on my own, I didn't even have to consult with a single person on the apartment I chose (I did make sure that the part of town I chose was a good choice). When my beloved car finally gave up after 15 years, I went to the dealership and obtained a car loan on my own, I chose the vehicle I wanted, didn't have to ask a soul if they liked it. I love it - that's all that matters.

I still have that wonderfully supportive tribe behind me - and I've added a few more members. I smile more often now, I laugh harder and louder. I now no longer come home and wonder, how did I get here, how is THIS my life.

 
** I do plan to blog more, I have some book updates, a vacation post (I have to get the pictures off my camera) and now school updates.  My life is totally different and I look forward to sharing the new chapters 

15 Assumptions you should make...

Link to the original post I saw .. 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/anne-theriault-/15-assumptions-you-should-make-today_b_2946165.html

1. Assume that you are loved.

2. Assume that those who love you find some kind of value in you and the things you do.

3. Assume, however, that you don't need to be valuable in order to be worthy of love.

4. Assume that there is no one out there keeping a tally of all of your failings, ready to throw it in your face when you're either feeling too good or too awful about yourself.

5. Assume that if anyone actually is keeping a tally of all your failings, that act says more about them than it does about you.

6. Assume that you can't make all of the people happy all of the time; maybe not even some of the people some of the time.

7. Assume that you will, over the course of your life, sometimes anger or disappoint the people you love.

8. Assume that when this happens, it isn't the end of the world, even if that's what it feels like.

9. Assume that there is never an end to learning, or growing, or discovering.

10. Assume that you will always find a way out, even when all the doors slam shut and everything feels impossible.

11. Assume that sometimes earnestness and optimism can trump irony and cynicism.

12. Assume that it's possible to recapture the way you felt when you were young, how the perfect clockwork mechanism of the universe used to leave you breathless and giddy with wonder.

13. Assume that there will always be more stories to tell, or at the very least new ways of reinterpreting old fables.

14. Assume that nothing is permanent, that someday even the sun will disappear; remember that everything we see and touch and taste is made of stars that grew and pulsed and died long before this planet ever existed.

15. Assume that you are under some kind of obligation to make the world a better place.

Notes From the Universe

I subscribe to a daily email called Notes From the Universe.. I love these more often than not they are little gems that either make you smile or go AH.. this one is form 11/2/12 I read it this morning and both smiled and went AH..

KayLynn, you chose to be who you now are, you came here  to thrive, the odds always seem steep, the game is rigged in  your favor, you knew what you were doing, your demons  aren't real, fear was part of the deal, love is all you need,  you're never alone, thoughts become things... and you still  look absolutely amazing in jeans.  Beaming,      The Universe All of the above puts a neat little bow on a few of the beliefs I truly do hold stock in: 1. No one can change your life except you - if you don't like it do something about it. Life is either to short or to long to be miserable. 2. If you ignore your life it will ignore you right back! How things turn out is entirely up to you. Life doesn't happen to you YOU happen to life - make it what you want it to be. If its not what you dreamed it to be make a change - either to get back on the path or change the dream. Get out there and make the most out of life - be the best you that you can be!!

Finding my "wa" and breaking old patterns

I'm stressed as can be and feeling out of sorts and drained. Pretty much my "wa" is lost and I need to get it back.  No I'm not drunk blogging - I just need to get a balance again. If your not sure what "wa" is - don't worry, its an inside term for peace & balance.

I need to declutter both my physical world and my mental one. So deep cleaning my house is on the agenda and hitting the gym.   I need to learn to be able to stat what I need and not feel guilty about it. I need to learn when to walk away from those who give guilt trips when you call them on their own crap.  I don't walk on people why should they walk on me? 

I know all this is learned behavior and its picked up over years and years and breaking it is not an easy thing.  I do know that you teach people how to treat you so if you want it to change you have to be the one to start the change and stick to it. Its not easy but if you don't then you are giving people permission to behave as usual.

Been a busy Tuesday!

Its been so busy today I am looking at 2 Advil sitting on my desk trying to remember if I took 2 and set them down then a few minutes later grabbed 2 more and took those or if I answered the phone and just forgot to take them completely - I know my head still hurts!

I have been looking all over town for a hoodie with thumb holes - I can't tell you why but I love them .. no luck so I finally broke down and ordered this one online.  Totally can't wait for it to get here.

I have gotten into the habit of getting everything that I need for the next day in order the night before - lunch, tomorrow's outfit etc - it really does make the morning a titch easier to deal with - I'll say though sometimes the outfit changes the next morning.  Just doing that little thing has made me feel less stressed and it is easier to plan what I am eating. Planning is key, when I am rushed to get out the door I grab nothing and hit the drive thru's or delivery which makes it harder to keep on the right path.   The last 2 days morning has been a breeze - which is not a bad thing when its a Monday morning! 

Tonight after work I am heading to the gym - D is cooking dinner so I don't have that to deal with (nor do I know what we are having), then he is taking Ms Peep out driving while I watch lil man.  She was unable to get her license in high school due to a seizure disorder and now that she can get it shes gung ho! 

Tomorrow is weigh in day - MyFitnessPal keeps yelling at me that I am not eating enough - well 3 days last week it did - I was only barely under the 1200 calories that you are supposed to have every day - so hopefully that hasn't got me caught in a "hang on to every calorie we are starving" mode here - we shall see! 

I invite you to just drive

Over the past few weeks on my morning commute to work I have seen all of the various things listed below.. A women putting on full face makeup, a guy shaving, someone reading a novel (yes the book was splayed out on the steering wheel) a women eating a bowl of cereal and as always someone texting.

All of which have made me afraid to be driving in the lane next to them, behind them, or the scariest of all in front of them.  I understand running late - we all do so on occasion. I don't understand putting everyone else around you at risk.  Sure you have mad multitasking skills, sure your committed to being both on time and looking fab, I implore you however, to either call in late or show up less than groomed - take 2 minutes when you get to your destination and spruce up.  I'd much rather show up alive and less than perfect than a dead body that  is unrecognizable because of your distracted driving.  Texting while driving has proven to be deadly, please don't kill me because you can't stand to not text your friend back "gurl he was fine, & the jeans he wore made my tongue itch. L8ters" !  Eating while driving has been done for years, however pick something more portable - a bowl of cereal??  Lady a breakfast burrito will do more for you protein wise AND is much easier to hold and drive.  


Honestly if this is the norm for your morning commute, then take a time management course and go to bed earlier so you can wake up earlier and accomplish what you need to in the morning BEFORE setting out. Frankly you don't have the right to put everyone else on the road at risk. Put some thought into prepping before you get in a car and turn the key. You really are operating heavy machinery and should proceed with caution.   

Random Tuesday

I saw this at the store last night ... is it any wonder American's are overweight?? Naw I didn't think so either..

Yep that is Ruffles Ultimate Smokehouse bacon chip dip - does not even look appitising to me. Even before I started on this healthier eating this would have turned my stomach. 

Random bit #2 Ladies, even if your office dress policy states casual - Capri jean, a yellow wifebeater -esk tank and flip flops of the shower shoe variation are NOT what they had in mind when they stated Office Casual Attire.  If you would wear it for yard work (not the Stepford wifes, they wear twinsets to weed) don't wear it to the office. No matter how relaxed your office has become it is STILL Corporate America.

Random bit #3 After surfing thepeopleofwalmart.com for a bit last evening - I have come to the conclusion white, tan, and dark brown leggins should be abolished .. UGGGG my eyes!!   Why is it some are drawn to the absolute worse thing in the world for them to be wearing. Some where some girl just put on a hookers rejects looked in the mirror and said self you look smokin - then hit the local Wal-Mart.. 

Random bit #4 I am down 4lbs from last week.. Hitting the treadmill tonight! 

Have a great Tuesday!

And it was a blast!

The Glow Run was awesome.. A little organizing needs to be reviewed in the set up of the run but all and all it was truly fun.  Last night was hot and humid even starting at 9:45 pm .. its was 87 degrees out and humid.  Everyone was pumped though and it proved to be a great time.

My friend Balinda and I before the race started (ignore the glorious porta potty background).  Our official time was  54:11.2.  Not to bad considering the heat and my knee popped out 3 times in the middle of it all.  I'll take it!  


Last week I fell 1 workout short of my goal of 4 plus the 5k.  I did 3 plus the 5k - Still pretty proud of that - last week was a hell of a week. Heading back to the Shred next week. 


Today I have just hung out at home, straightened up a big and watched the DVR.  Later its off to the store to get stuff for the up coming week. 


Here's a couple more pictures of last nights race.

Day before The Glow 5k

Had to go get new tennies last night.. The inserts I had picked up for my old ones just were not getting it - there was no way I could do a 5k in those.  I also picked up my race packet and all the glow sticks they were handing out for the event. Its my first night 5k - I am thinking its going to be a blast!

I am looking forward to downtime this weekend - other than the 5k and going to get lil man's crib I have nothing planned this weekend - first time in a long time that has happened.  Its looking like a good weekend to purge somethings around the house and straighten up.

I have a few things in 2 rubbermaid tubs from high school - my letter jacket some drama productions t-shirts odds and ends all memories - how do you part with that stuff? I have condensed all my teenage memories into 2 tubs that are stored under our bed - I just can't seem to purge the rest of it.  Have you? How did you part with it? I know its just stuff and the memories are in your head - but I can't seem to put that letter jacket in a hefty bag and toss it - I mean I wore that thing EVERYWHERE I worked hard for the letter and every pin that is attached to that letter... I think its just going to stay in that tub and my daughter can figure it out in 60 years.....

Throwback Thursday 1990's

Remember this??

Then there was the hair and the start of the hole in the ozone - thank you Aqua Net

Getting closer

Saturday night the KC Glow 5k.. Can't wait!!

Tonight after work its a run to the store then to the gym,  I did nada last night. Yesterday was not my best day so I took the night off. Which still gives me time to meet my goal of 4 days plus the 5k.  My eating has been a little wonky as well.. So I need to rein that back in and '86 the nuts I munch on during the day at work thinking I was doing myself a favor and being healthy. Then I read the label..

Next week I can go back to hitting the Shred since I won't have the 5k to prep for. I'll retake measurements so that I will have an accurate accounting to go by. I don't think the ones I took 2 weeks ago count as I have not done the Shred every day.

Photo Blog day

a few of my favorite things or places..


                                                  New shoes I looked all over for these.

                                                                   Awesome car!

Yoda does Yoga

The best view - This is where I want to be today.

This is the view from the house we rented in Hawaii.

                                                           Decisions decisions....

                                             This sign hangs in my office, behind my desk

                                                           The cutest lil man!!!

What a busy day

Mondays typically are and at the office every other Monday is more so.  Already started my Tuesday to do list..

Got my race info today in the email for Saturday night ... this is going to be a blast - my first night 5k ever. Did 1.5 miles on the treadmill then hit the weights for 20 minutes. Lunch is packed for tomorrow - left over boneless rib and a salad.

Today while reading a friends blog RadioVixen I thankful I am no longer trying to swim in the dating pool.  Holy Moley what the hell is wrong with people these days - and that was just a first date!! Thankfully for her its the only date. Dating has always been a challenge - isn't that what Sex in the City taught us??  These days though is it more so or are people just more desperate now?

I had a few real winners back in the day myself - I remember calling a friend from the bathroom of one such encounter for a ride then crawling out a bathroom window as my date also had hands everywhere. Thankfully not all the guys out there are socially challenged and you can find your prince!

Now I am just chilling on the couch with Criminal Minds - and rethinking tomorrow lunch after seeing what tonight's criminal does with the human remains once he is done with them - and winding down my Monday.

Have a good night!

Stick a fork in another weekend..

Weekends go by so fast..

Thursday night I came home and did another day of shred albeit modified as my knee popped out while I was mid lunge - so I canned those and stuck to the abs and arms.  The we just hung out and chilled.  I know Thursday doesn't count as the weekend - but the knee issue is why I took it easy.

Friday I went after work and had my pink and whites redone (I had been wearing color) then came home and vegged in front of the TV.

Saturday was errands and hanging out with friends Sat night just talking. Sunday was shopping and chilling.  I should have hit the treadmill either Saturday or Sunday but just took it easy.  Though all the walking I did Sunday has to count for something ;-) I walked Costco and 2 malls!!

This weekend I managed to find the coolest ear buds for my MP3 player I use for the treadmill.  I also a new pair of workout capris for the 5K next Saturday night, regular everyday wear capris, the topsiders I have been looking for but couldn't find in my size.. Those I am totally psyched about. As usual I found cute outfits for Jayden.

My goals for next week are to workout at least 4 days PLUS the 5k Saturday night. So fingers are crossed the knee behaves.

New beginnings

This week in the mail i received the copy of Jillian Michaels 30 day shred I had ordered from Amazon (really fast shipping, it was here within 3 days of my order)-I picked up my free weights needed for the shred last night before hitting Magic Mike with the girls. I already had the yoga mat.

So now just need to start level 1 and hope to survive (it IS Jillian Michaels after all).

Lots going on this weekend - last night was Magic Mike - oh wow that's all I am going to say on that. Today is my nephew's 5th birthday party.  Tomorrow will be grocery shopping straightening the house and getting ready for the next work week. Weekends go by so fast..

More to come later! Have a great day y'all!!!

Things I am sick of..

The phrases:

That's what she said &  First World Problems.

That's what she said was funny for about 5 minutes - then people started saying it after EVERY SINGLE thing. Ugg over it already..

First World Problems - Uh yeah we live in a first world country (is both First and World supposed to be capitalized??) so there fore we DO have different issues that the third world countries do. Suck it up buttercup doesn't mean our problems are not problems they are just different problems.  People here are poor and lacking proper food and clothing as well, because they are in the USA does that make it a first world problem therefore tossed in the "irrelevant" pile as well? Yeah I know totally different issue than "my iPod won't load." I just hate the phrase, no matter how trivial or not a problem is a problem.

Fashion:

UG's and mini skirts - WTH made anyone think this was a good look? Its NOT stop it - you look like a moron who is weather channel challenged. Tip for you if its hot enough for a mini its to hot for ugly ass winter  boots and vise versa!

Capri's and dress boots - really?? What part of this made you think "appropriate office wear, oh hell appropriate combo at ALL?

Yoga pants and a blazer with dress shoes: I don't care what you wear yoga pants with they are still yoga pants.

Magnets on the side of a computer: I get a call PC is not acting properly - the machine is picked up and brought to my office - there is a magnet on the side of it ... KNOCK IT OFF ITS NOT GOOD FOR THE MACHINE. Then they can't figure out why they have lost data.  DUH FREAKING DUH.

I was going to add a happy section where I was upbeat and positive but I can't think of anything at the moment so maybe later...

So it's been over a year since I posted

and I could give a huge list of why its been that long but I am going to sum it up with ... I have been busy.

My adult daughter has come home to live with us and recently given birth to my grandson.  I am way to young to be called Grandma so I am Noni.  He is simply the cutest thing on earth at this very moment. No I am not biased, why do you ask? :-)

 I am having a blast getting to know this little individual.

A few things I have decided on changing by the end of this year.
1) Stop smoking once and for all.  I had stopped last year for 7 weeks - I had promised myself I was not going to smoke when the family went to Hawaii - and I didn't I started back up again 2 weeks after we came home.
2) I am going to take the weight that crept up after my hysterectomy and the aforementioned non-smoking attempt.  I WILL get back into my size 8 jeans AND be fit, not just thin I want to be lean and defined as well.
3) declutter again - maybe I can finally say bye-bye to the high school memories. I don't have a lot of clutter (cleaning my Mamaw's house after she passed cured that) but I think it really is time to say goodbye to some more things.
4) Dress better. I really want to be one of those pulled together women who's even casual look just sings. I achieve tired and frumpy a lot more than I want to admit.

So far that's the list.  #2 I am actively working on. I am watching what I eat and have been sorta working out - its nothing consistent so I am going to get better at that.  I have been doing a few 5k's (walks not runs) and have my next one coming up in July - its a night walk and should be a fricken blast.

#4 I have started as well - I got a few new tops this weekend. though I am not wanting to spend a ton on stuff that I am actively planning on not being able to wear for long! Tonight I am headed shoe shopping as what I wear to work daily is not helping the mental image I have going.  I either wear my tennis shoes or a pair of flips that were classified as sandals because they are leather and have decorative pieces on them - but really are flip flops.

A new perspective

I couldn't sleep last night. I had gotten more than just a little down after yesterday's events and found myself listening to the music I have on my pc and surfin the net. In my travels I found a website memorial a mother had designed for her son. As I found myself reading the pages and the tributes of a mother, father and friends who had lost someone way too soon without warning. I discovered myself just sobbing in sorrow over a teenage boy I'd never met.

In that moment reading his mothers words I had a realization, no matter how upset I am over the way things are going, the turn of events we are dealing with and will deal with for the rest of our life, I still have my baby. Yes I grieve for certain things that may never be and ideals that have changed, but when its all said and done I have my daughter. Many who have had to deal with this disorder no longer have their child.

So even in the midst of the drama, the fights from hell, the worn out days where I think my giveashitter is broken beyond repair, I will stop, think and say a prayer that at least I have her - it could be so much worse. There will always be the good days and the not so good days, we will even have very very bad days but we at least have them and for that I will always be grateful. And for ever good day that balances several bad ones in a row, I will treasure them and learn to hang on to those days to get us through the tough ones.