Wednesday, February 13, 2019

Thoughts on Couples Goals

Its Valentine's Eve and my mind keeps coming back to a popular hashtag. Couples Goals. Spend any time at all on social media and you will run into this - either as a phrase or a picture tagged as such. For a while now that phrase has bothered me, greatly bothered me. Especially when that is attached to a couple you honestly have NO other knowledge of other than what's presented online.

What is forgotten is that you as the public are shown exactly what they and or their publicist want you to see. They cultivate your opinion of that couple, and frankly, they are manipulating your views on who those people are. Certainly, the same can be said for non-celeb couple as well. The thing people forget is that Facebook, Instagram, Twitter - they are all highlight reels.

What you see, what you are determining are "couple goals" is a few seconds in a snapshot that sometimes takes longer to edit than it took to pose the pic. From that its determined their life is perfect, and they are the perfect couple and others should strive to be them.  When in all honesty, that couple may not even like each other anymore, they are just keeping up appearances. Both sick of the other and their quirks.

I think the true couple goals are the longtime couples you personally know. Maybe it is the older couple down the street who have 30 plus years of marriage under their belt and you can tell by looking at them year after year despite the crap life throws at them they genuinely care, love and respect each other. Those are the people I want to know more about, know their secrets of life and love.

That is the relationship to me that you should aspire to cultivate. Not the one on Instagram where all you see is the perfect picture posed just so, which makes the world think they have it made and perhaps whats just out of the frame is 3 piles of laundry, the past due bills, the screaming toddler whos teething and the dog whos dumped the trash can for the third time that week.     

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Monday, February 11, 2019


Why is Monday so close to Friday yet Friday is so far away from Monday?? I could totally support permanent 3 day weekends!! I hope y'all had good weekends..

I did go to the indoor shooting range Saturday alas I did not shoot. I did watch, I can appreciate that for some it's their thing and they blow off steam and even relax this way. I just can't seem to shake the nope I don't wanna hold it I don't wanna shoot it I don't want to do anything more than observe, oh and jump despite ear protection every single time it goes off, and I am okay with that.

After we grabbed brunch at a new diner that had opened up near a friends house - He had gone shooting with us and we decided to stop there on the way back to drop him off at his house. It was meh. I am not used to ordering a breakfast skillet and the sausage in it being pizza sausage and not breakfast sausage. So the entire thing was just "off" for me. 

The rest of the afternoon and pretty much the weekend was spent relaxing watching movies and finishing Game of Thrones season 7 - yes I was late to the party and just over the last 6 months started watching - I am all caught up now and can only say helloooo is it April yet??? I NEED to know what's up with Jon and Dany!!!

Sunday found St Louis waking up to ice everywhere so just chilling and watching TV was perfect. That afternoon I did venture out and grabbed lunch and a few essentials then right back to the warmth and cozy. I am so ready for warmer weather now. I as a rule am not a Winter person anyhow and I am over the coats, boots, frozen fingers and toes.

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Friday, February 08, 2019

Friday Things

WOOOHOOO we made it to FRIDAY!!! Its a chilly one here the high is 24 degrees tonight is going to fall to a whopping 13 degrees.. Good grief can we have spring please!!! 

Lately, my coffee brewed in my Keurig has just been off so I picked up this 2 step cleaning system on Amazon. This mornings coffee was proof it was worth it!! I will be grabbing another for the next time I have to clean and descale!  The whole kit was $9.99 and I will gladly pay the price for it.

Tomorrow I'm off to do something I have been interested to do but yet scared to do at the same time. I am going to go learn to shoot. Frankly, guns scare me always have; however, I have always been intrigued to learn to shoot all the same. So tomorrow I am going to go face this fear. Here is hoping I actually don't back down. I have been giving myself the talk to - I have done so much in 2018 that I never thought I would be able to do, not only did I do it I thrived. Given that I am can do this as well.

The highlight of my week was this:

and that is the real Mark Hamill himself - I'm still in the corner fangirling!!

The other thing that cracked me up this week was asking Alexa to beatbox - need a smile - go head ask her to beatbox!!

Have a great weekend y'all. 

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Tuesday, February 05, 2019

And its February....

I am so glad January is over - it never fails to feel like 94 months long.  I do not mind February much at all - I have before stated its one of my favorite months.. and that has NOT one thing to do with Valentine's day ... its because it only has 28 days and that brings me so much closer to WARMTH !!

The end of January found me tying up a few loose ends. It was a relief to finally be able to do so... It was just one more step needed in the journey to close the last 17 years. It was frankly the one step at the moment that had me so stressed that I didn't even realize that for the past year I have pretty much been holding my breath and walking a tight rope. That is NOT a great life plan by the way. It's anxiety inducing and unfulfilling.  I will be glad when that part of things is completed. 

I will say that even given the stress of January - it looked nothing like January 2018. I was far less upset, less stressed, was less unhappy and unsure of myself and where I stood in my own life. For the first time in YEARS, I feel more assured of myself and where I am in life.  That, in and of itself, is the best feeling ever!

A few things I want to look at accomplishing in February is to read more and watch less TV and get back to being consistent at my blogging.

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Thursday, January 03, 2019

Its Really Time to Stop Ladies....

Its 2019, last year was supposed to be a huge shift in how woman are treated both by men and other woman and YET  the casual digs are still there especially in how women view/treat other women. Especially when we don't even know the other person. 

Case in point I was scrolling through my Instagram feed this morning and stopped at a post from a fashion blogger for an outfit recreation pic. The outfit was adorable and she pretty much nailed it.. Then I read the caption and thought damn are we still pulling this - it was in regards to the model's size and assumptions on what she might eat, if anything at all.  Sigh, in reality, we as women have not evolved at all, still putting down some unknown woman, making assumptions about what she does or doesn't eat either for a giggle or to make yourself feel better about yourself.

The thing is the blogger is gorgeous in her own right, she didn't need to add that afterthought in for validation, yet there it was. My first thought was how on earth are we going to be treated better and respected more when we can't even treat each and respect each other. Lead by example ladies. It's time to seriously stop putting each other down and treat each other respectfully. We are not going to get anyone to view us the way we want to be if we are acting nasty to each other. We say we deserve better treatment - live it don't just give it lip service. 

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Wednesday, January 02, 2019

2019 ... The Year of Less

Well hiya 2019, after 2018 I am very glad to see you!!! I have big plans for us. I also have plans for LESS... Less stress, fewer things, less drama, less well just LESS !!

With 2018 picking the theme of change and growth for me - this year I am choosing less.  In the next few weeks, I will start looking in my closet and getting rid of the stuff that doesn't make me joyful. The clothes that I am hanging on to because "what if", or it was a gift or that was expensive.. Meh, if it is uncomfortable to wear, doesn't suit my style or make me feel like a trillion bucks when I put it on to the donation pile it goes. It does not matter what it costs if it never sees the light of day!

Same with unused gifts - I appreciate the thought in the gift, I truly do but that doesn't mean I signed up to haul it around for life. Once it's been gifted - the giftee may do as they please with it. Unfortunately, that may mean it gets a new home. I come from 2 generations of woman who are hoarders - I flat refuse to be one, the thought of stuff everywhere sets my anxiety off the charts. I'm just saying no.

I will also be culling all the paper I have sitting around - I have opted out of prescreening notices in the mail - that helps two-fold; less paper and less debt as I am saying NO to that as well - I do all my banking online and can get statements there if I need them I have signed up for paperless billing for all my utilities. I can get texted/emailed reminders that it is coming due. I log on to their website and pay it from there.. easy peasy.

I have also culled some friendships that were not true friendships. There is not one valid reason anyone should have to wonder who is a true friend and who is not. When the outside world is more than ready to take shots at you, you should never fear that it is happening from your own inner circle. I refuse to deal with that anymore, in a friend, in a relationship, in those who are supposed to be your tribe.  It causes stress and heartache - both of which are also in the less category.

There are a few more things I will be adding in to the "less of" as the year goes on - I thought, however, I would start here. There is nothing worse than such a long list that a person gets overwhelmed by the sheer volume of it that they toss up their hands and throw in the towel before things even begin.  Since most of this will be unlearning decades of behavior I thought starting here and adding on as the year goes by was a good way to begin.

What's your word this year? 

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Thursday, December 27, 2018

2018 The Year ...... Change and Growth

I do not even know how to title 2018 much less put a summary on it... Heaven knows there is not a bow for it. Simply put 2018 was a huge year for me, one of pivotal changes. Both good and horribly bad. I could never have dreamed that when I ended 2017 and looked toward the incoming year with so much hope how very very different it would go.

2018 was one of the biggest years of changes for me. I learned a lot - that word doesn't even begin to describe how much - I learned about the people in my life and more importantly about myself. I learned that the people I thought would always, who promised to always, have my back did not. I learned that I have strength that even after all the shit I have survived in my life I have more strength and perseverance that even I could not even fathom I possessed.

I previously blogged about how people pick words for the year and somehow the work change chose me for 2018. Everything changed. I look back and see that nothing - seriously nothing is the same.  An almost 2 decade relationship ended, I moved to a whole new city in a new state, I spent a short time in a friends home since I did not have a home to call my own. I have a new career, hell even my car decided it was time to retire.  I met new people, I have new friends who have helped me through this year more than they will ever know.

I do miss some of the people I thought would always be in my life and that they were true friendships I am grateful that this year showed me their true selves. I have learned to be careful who I confide in, whom I hold close. I have chosen to let them go, wish them well and remember that when people show you who they really are do not try to repaint the picture. When someone tells you who they are, believe them the first time. Mya Angelou was so correct in that belief.

While I am still digging out of this past year and recovering from so many changes I do see the the light at the end. I can't say that I will look back at most of 2018 with pleasure I will cherish some aspects of it. I am, however, ready to end 2018 and start fresh with 2019. I am picking my own word this time though!

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Thoughts on Couples Goals

Its Valentine's Eve and my mind keeps coming back to a popular hashtag. Couples Goals. Spend any time at all on social media and you wil...