Monday, June 18, 2018

Do the Things...

I have issues with anxiety - I work hard every day to overcome those issues. It's very easy for me to crawl into my cave and just stay in my bubble. In efforts to NOT become the scary hermit lady with 500 cats. I joined a couple of social groups. The first meetup I RSVP-ed to is coming up this weekend. I am meeting the group to go see Deadpool 2.

Then I RSVP-ed to a tapas and theatre crawl even for the end of the month. Honestly, I both excited and nervous. I am that painfully awkward girl that manages to say the wrong thing and be a huge geek.. Think Daria on the MTV, and if you don't know who Daria is .. well go now - Google and watch then come back...  I know none of this fits into the I up and moved to a new city where I know 1 person and started a new adventure. What can I say I'm simple like quantum physics. *Shrug*

Saturday night I got restless and grabbed my phone and a bottle of water and just drove around my neighborhood. It was a warm drive - window open AC off but it was pleasant and for the most part I didn't have to ask Google where the hell I was. That right there is a huge - I am so directionally challenged it is unbelievable. Sunday I pretty much hung around the complex - but did strike up a conversation with a guy in the laundry room instead of keeping my head down and praying not to be noticed.

Pretty big accomplishments honestly.. and so is admitting this stuff, instead of acting like I have it all together.

Here's to doing the things....

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Sunday, June 17, 2018

Choices and Life Paths

I know everyone has seen this quote..

It's honestly an amazing quote. Change is always scary but it is honestly the ONLY thing you can count on. Things will always be changing.  you will constantly have to choose things. generally, its do you want your latte hot or cold that day. Sometimes, though it will be a huge life change that you either have to make or continue to drone on in your same existence.

Think about it if you continue to choose the safe option you'll never experience much. Your life experiences are limited and nothing special happens. Sure, your life may be easier but will you learn anything, will you really live?  I can not believe we are here to simply pay bills and die. That is an existence, not a life. That is settling not choosing a life.  It's been said that the biggest regrets people have are what they didn't do, not what they did do in life.

A friend of mine said to me recently, if you are standing on the edge you are taking up to much space. For those of us jumping off cliffs, enjoy the journey. Those who cling to the edge, to what they know, the safe zone - when you're ready - the rest of us have the parachute and will meet you after the jump.

Life starts at the end of your comfort zone.

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Tuesday, June 12, 2018

Squirrels on the Road of Life

Someone said this to me once - and I did make a decision, and ended up as a flat squirrel anyway.  What I am going to tell you is listen to your instincts and choose from there. To many of us ignore those gut feelings or are told its just anxiety. No, frankly sometimes it really is your instinct that is trying like hell to warn you.

Listen to your inner voice - I don't mean that "this is new and I'm scared" feeling but that deep down feeling. The one that is in all of us for a reason. The one that is screaming at you to stop, recalculate and then decide.  Sometimes that those feelings are there to save you.  The further you are away from your true voice the more confusing it is to heed the innate advice your inner self is trying to give you. This can be compounded if you have issues with anxiety.

It really is ok to stop, and just breathe. Find your voice, your true voice not the voice of everyone else telling you what you should do, what you should think. At the end of it all it is you that has to live in the choice you made, if needed take your time making that choice. I promise - you can just breathe.

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Monday, June 11, 2018

Perhaps Charlotte was Right..

Maybe your Girlfriends are your soulmates.. Maybe it's better that way. Generally, your girlfriends are there through it all. Yeah, there are exceptions I get that but that's the exception, not the rule.  Look back - think about all the big deal thing you have gone through, now look at whos next to you. 90% of the time it is your closest girlfriends. Cheering you on or holding you up and wiping your tears.

Honestly, its been my girlfriends who have picked me up on my darkest hours, made sure I was okay and just sat with me when I cried so hard I didn't think I would ever produce another tear. It wasn't the man who said he had my back, that he was ride or die with me. It was my tribe who made sure I was breathing and continues to do so. They don't come and go they are a constant presence. Looking back I can honestly say very few of my girlfriends have ever shattered my heart, guys on the other hand....

So maybe just maybe your girlfriends as your soulmates isn't such a bad idea after all..

* Side note ever Sex in the City fan knows it was not Carrie who said this - it was Charlotte.

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Thursday, June 07, 2018

Woody Allen Really... Sit down, Shut Up

You, sir, are NOT the poster boy for the #MeToo movement - just because the woman you sexually assaulted is not an actress who worked in one of your movies does NOT mean you are not innocent. You sexually assaulted your own daughter and married another daughter.

You simply opening your mouth about #MeToo and trying to make it about you, reinforces the that the male population thinks everything is about them.  The only way this is about you is that you join the ranks of other men thinking they can do whatever they like to a female - simply because they desire to.  The ONLY thing you are a poster boy for is some rich guy with power taking advantage of a female because he can.. Your spot on a poster is a spot with Bill Cosby, taken from inside a jail cell.

The only metoo you add to the movement is I'm sorry I too thought I could get away with being part of sexually assaulting whomever I choose because I am rich and can buy my way out of anything.  I too thought I could intimidate and take whatever I wanted. I too am a nasty old man who subscribes to the "grab them by the pussy" way of thinking.

Sit down and shut up - preferably by Bill Cosby and Harvey Weinstein in a jail cell to rot. #TimesUP

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Wednesday, June 06, 2018

Wednesday's Words

I loved you fiercely - I can not control that you settled for a mundane existence. Enjoy that.


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Do the Things...

I have issues with anxiety - I work hard every day to overcome those issues. It's very easy for me to crawl into my cave and just st...