Wednesday Confessional

Well its been awhile so why not..

1. I hate halloween - always have ... the ONLY part of me who likes it is the makeup artist in me who really just wants to paint faces and send them out to where ever they may be headed then grab a glass of wine the popcorn and a Netflix sess.

2. I STILL have a Netgally book I am trying to hard to get into - I just can't it is too predictable - to maddening at how "paint by numbers" the story is. At this point, I think its just going to get a half review and a disclaimer that I could NOT finish it. right now its only use, is as a tool to battle insomnia if it were not on my kindle I would have thrown it by now.

3. I am tired all day, get to the evening still tired - go lay down and its like oh just kidding let's go over all the catchy song lyrics from the last 20 years ..... you spin me right around....... FML 

4. I now really understand Oliva's (Scandal) wine and popcorn dinners - at the end of the day, the LAST thing I want to do is cook. What I WANT to do is kick off my shoes and sit on the couch.  A lot of times a peanut butter sandwich wins - what??? It's handled...

5. I cut off all my nails - now I can't type or text...

6. my Netflix "because you watched" section looks like I am a 14 year old ... I am not sorry.

7. I am low key pissed the stuff I pin on my Pinterest doesn't just go into my closet.

The things that have made me laugh lately

The Year of Change - 2018

Some people pick a word for the year - I never have, I understand the thought behind it. I can appreciate the motivation to embrace a word for a year instead of resolutions. I just never applied it to my own life. Apparently however a word chose me for 2018. Change picked me. This has been my biggest year of growth experiences and change that I can remember in a very long time.

Frankly most of it has been very painful, the universe decided I was to comfortable, to complacent in my own world, thus I found my world flipped inside out and upside down.  I will say that I have experienced on my own that when the Universe decides you need to make a change it will make you so uncomfortable until you have no choice but to make a change. These days I do not even recognize my own life. 

I have moved to a new city, I have a new job and I am learning a new way of just being. Its been both scary as hell and liberating all at once. I am doing things I never thought I could do.  I always knew I was a strong person but I have been learning just how much strength I have. Some days have brought me to my knees and others I have felt more joy than I have in a long time.  I know that I still have a lot to deal with and work through, but I have gotten this far and the only way out is to keep going.

While I am grateful for the lessons I am ready for things to level out a bit. I hear you Universe,  thank you for the new challenges, new experiences and the strength, I know I was only supposed to pay bills and die, life is to be really lived - but I think I will pick my own word for next year. Deal? Deal.