Wednesday, February 26, 2014

So What Wednesday

Woke up this morning and it had a Friday feel to it.... nothing fucks up your Friday more than realizing it's Wednesday - unless its actually Monday :-)

So what:

Its the end of February - its too cold and an end of the month snow storm from hell doesn't sound like fun... Take some meds mother nature, you have issues and have now screwed my weekend road trip... bitch.

I'm ready to pull out sandals and plan a vacation..

If typing "lippy's" is easier than typing out lipstick - this is not a text message, you are over the age of 25 and you sound ridiculous.

If you think I have to explain where I am going... I don't - last I checked I am a grown ass woman.....

If that is how you have always done it, it is in fact incorrect.

If you think you can get mad at me for not being able to participate in your last minute plans. I'm tired of the last minute shit - I plan a good deal of things and actually schedule appointments. I don't want to cancel just because you always ask for things at the last minute. I look unreliable then, when in fact your the flaky one.  

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Monday, February 24, 2014

And Some Days Just Suck

That's where I am at today - it just sucks.. Frankly it always will.  Things wish you had done or not, will come back time and time again to kick you in your crotch when you least expect it. That is today for me..

Its been an emotional day and in someways it feel like I am right back where I was 14 years ago.. Regardless of where you are in life or what you have going on, that one thing just taps you on the shoulder and says "here I am, I didn't go away" then starts kicking.

No matter what you have done to move past it, if all the parties have not, you also never will. No matter how many times you apologize or attempt to atone, it will always be there.  After years pass some details will fade others altered slightly, but always still there... You realize there really isn't anything you can do, its up to the person who holds on to the pain, clings tightly to the wrongs and shakes the finger in your face when when they get notion.

You also come to realize unless you block that person out or the search out help that's just how its always going to be.   Due to circumstances you can't cut them off or out so what you have left is to hold on to the slim sliver of light that shines occasionally, hope that they figure out what that the very thing they cling to is the poison of their undoing.  They are the only ones who hold the key in resolving anything and you just breathe.

Just breathe

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Sunday, February 23, 2014

Sunday night already

Sunday seems to be the only time I find to update these days.. Sorry about that. I have been super busy at work. I took on more responsibility and have been on the go ever since. I am sure that once I get the hang of the added tasks everything will balance back out. Ok I hope it will balance out LOL.

Honestly that has pretty much been my week.. I get to the office early and leave late. The leaving late part isn't much of a deal except I haven't been eating very well or working out. Once I get home I am pretty much done for and ready to call it bedtime! One night I even asked D if 6:45 was to early to go to sleep. For the record the answer was yes. So last week dinner was a lot of grab something quick, or eat out. Oopsie. I am sure we will get a plan working soon.

Saturday we lounged for awhile then decided to go walk the mall grab lunch and from there head to The Legends to walk Nebraska Furniture Mart. I did find the new couch I want, D isn't so sure about it. The cushions hit him mid back instead of at the shoulders - happens when your 6 foot 6 LOL.  The other issue is that it was a suede leather and my cat has all his claws.... well and we were there to look at dressers not living room furniture lol.

Sunday was more lounging then to the grocery store and a stop over to see the grand baby.. Man he is getting big - its hard to believe he will be 2 soon. Noni needs to figure out what his b-day present will be.

I am looking forward to getting through this week and road tripping to Springfield with a good friend of mine. We are stopping there for a baby shower she needs to attend then headed on into Branson to the Outlet mall to shop Saturday afternoon and Sunday morning then head back home.. Should be a great time and I am hoping to find some new clothes - most of mine no longer fit and I need smaller sizes - good problem to have though right??

Here's to a good week y'all!

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Monday, February 17, 2014

Baby Harper

5 weeks ago I posted about a drive to help with medical costs for baby Harper who was born premature. As a mom to a preemie they always hold a soft place in my heart.

Harper did so well and grew nicely. His family shared pictures on facebook and we all felt like we were there with his family watching him grow. 3 weeks ago Harper came home and it seemed like everything was going well.  On February 13 his mom posted an update on his progress and let everyone know he was rolling over and the pediatrician was pleased.

Last night she posted that Harper was having breathing issues and that they were headed to the hospital in an ambulance. This mornings post was that Harper passed away last night. I sit typing this broken hearted and in tears. I also am asking once again for help for the family. If you can donate at all to Harper's funeral please do so.  Harper's parents have poured all their time and energy into caring for him, they burned through any vacation time they had while he was at the hospital..

In Memory of Harper

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Mean Monday - Weekend Wrap Up

This weekend was kinda of a slower weekend - we decided to go no where and not do much - fine by me!

Friday night for Valentines Day we ordered dinner to go at Longhorn. I called it in before I left the office and D picked it up after he was off work while I ran to the store for dessert and RedBox. Got home changed into sweats lit the fireplace and settled in for prime rib and The Heat. Good movie by the way.  We had exchanged gifts earlier in the week. We just had a low key evening all around. No 2 hour wait for a table and rushing through dinner, slow service because the servers are all rushed and overly busy.  This was the second year we have done Valentines day and it will probably be our yearly tradition.

Saturday I slept in for a bit then got up and started in on paperwork for the office while D played the play station. I worked for a bit then surfed the internet, got caught up on my groups and blog reads then did a little online shopping for some makeup. Before we really knew it the day was gone - funny how the internet and play station can suck the entire day away. Saturday night we caught up on some show on the DVR.

Sunday was more paperwork, I like to split it up and look it over a few times with fresh eyes. When you sit and look at spreadsheets for hours everything blends, you become crossed eyed and it all looks the same so you miss things. D tossed a roast in the crock pot and did some laundry while I worked.  We caught the 2nd DVD we had rented Friday The Family - another good movie. The ending is a little head turner as you look at the TV sideways and go "huh" but it is a Martin Scorsese film and I find I usually do that at the end of his movies.

Honestly I had things I probably should have gotten out of the house to do I just didn't feel the want to go out. Most of what I wanted to go do I just ordered online instead of dealing with going to the Mall and picking it up. I probably should have gone to the grocery store and gotten this weeks food and necessities. I just didn't have the energy to get up and go do it.  I honestly could have stayed in bed for the weekend and been a happy girl - I have a book that I am half way through and want to finish. A book, an MP3 player, the laptop and I am good to go. the lack of energy and desire to leave the house happens every once in a while - I have noticed it more often in winter, this winter in particular. Generally I have also found it directly relates to my chronic fatigue and stress levels. When I am overly stressed I can't keep the chronic fatigue at bay for long. I need to find a new way to deal with stress and cope.

How was your weekend??

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Wednesday, February 12, 2014

So What Wednesday

That is late - that's the story of my life ... day late dollar short whomp whomp.

Tomorrow I have to get up at the ass crack of dawn to have my daughter up to the hospital for surgery .. man I hate morning - I really hate the ass crack of dawn..

That I am a bit sassy and a lot smart assey today..  Apparently the older I get the more prominent that gets.. meh I'd rather be the little old lady when people see her they think shit whats she up to now as opposed to aww what a sweet old lady.

If you don't "get me" you don't have to actually - not everyone will... I may not "get you" either pumpkin.  I'm not every ones cup of tea - I'd rather be a shot of tequila anyhow..

That I am unplugging this weekend - sometimes it get to be to much and you need to shut down, shut off and just be. Life pulls you into way to many directions and just because you CAN be connected to everything all the time doesn't  mean you SHOULD be.. Just like just because the pants zip doesn't mean they FIT ;-)

Some times I think everyone forgets that I spend most of every single day connected to both the internet and social media from 7 am to just about 10 pm. Between work and then my own social activities that's a freaking LOT of time. I get tired, I get worn out then I feel cranky, so I disconnect.. So I plan to do just that for most of this weekend except when I have paperwork to do for a Monday morning meeting..

Sunday Morning by Maroon 5 on Grooveshark

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Tuesday, February 11, 2014

You know you are

Tracking calories and what goes into your mouth when at the end of lunch you want to lick the inside of the container because not only was there enchilada sauce in it but CHEESE, real CHEESE.. Ok I may have scraped the sides with my fork a few times - but that's because Amy's Kitchen makes the BEST damn cheese enchiladas you an get for quick easy microwaved meals.. TIP try to wait a few minutes after the microwave is done ... cheese is napalm hot, the roof of your mouth with thank you - not that I know anything about that ;-)

So I found out this morning why the complex wasn't plowed after the latest snow which caused me to have to work from home yesterday .... ready for this shit - cuz I was flat pissed - They didn't want to pay out more over time.. Yep that's IT that's THE list. The maintenance guys were told the main sidewalks and the parking lot for the office ONLY.. So ready to move......

I'm look forward to Saturday as long as the weather forecast holds true its supposed to be 57!! Which is way better than the 12 degrees that it is currently.

This totally cracked me up...

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Monday, February 10, 2014

Happy Monday .... 37 Days til Spring

Yep Happy Monday - trying to keep a positive outlook .. Try it, you may find it working...

37 day's til Spring - I will say I hope Mother Nature and Old Man Winter got the memos.. I've been cold and snowed in far to long now. Today is another work from home day since my complex did not bother to remove the 2 inches of fresh snow we got yesterday, hell they didn't even salt. So my low to the ground car tried and tried this morning but would not, cold not get up the small hill. Thankfully I am in a position to work from home. Though I am really now lusting after 4 wheel drive or all wheel drive.

This weekend was fairly quiet just chilling at the house, reading and catching up on the DVR. Sunday we did venture out to get groceries before the the snow dumped again.  Yes it was only 2 inches - but that's on top of the 14 that was already out there and the freezing temps. I did however hear a rumor that soon warmer temps are on the way!! I'm sure D will happy when I am not running the fireplace almost every night. Its a gas fireplace and I am sure when I light it his brain just starts thinking cha ching over and over until its turned off. That and he says it makes him too warm. At least its made it to 11 degrees - its noon but its 11 degrees LOL.

My cough that was left from having the flu is finally subsiding so I am hoping to get back into my workout routine this week.. Why is is so hard to get back into the swing of things when you have been resting for 3 weeks?? I am already sitting here thinking "I don't wanna". I know that it will be easier once I "just do it". I was in a really good pattern until I got sick. I was working out 5 to 6 days a week.. Now to get back to there..

Best pic of the weekend: He rarely gets to chill on my bed...

Have a great Monday Y'all!!

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Wednesday, February 05, 2014

So What Wednesday

So what I can't find the regular graphic for So What Wednesday - apparently its not on this pc..

So what its winter - I'm sick of cold and snow. Its day 2 of being snowed in - we got 14 inches in 24 hours with more coming Friday....

So what I can't move where its warm anytime soon - but I can dream of my back yard being the actual beach .... in Hawaii.

So what that its not nice - at the end of this some summer the "bring on boots and sweaters" bitches get throat punched - just kidding .... maybe

So what the Broncos lost last Sunday's game .... fan for life. They still had a KICK ASS season. They MADE it to the Super Bowl - did your team?

This is whats making me laugh the last two days:

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Just Finished - Mother, Mother - Koren Zailckas

Ever have a book that once you finish it you have no idea what to read next because nothing sounds good after the world you just finished. ...