Wednesday, February 27, 2013

What I wanted to be vs what I was ...

All through school I wanted to be the cute little doll like girl, the reality of it is I was the too tall awkward geeky child who tried to hard to be liked.  You had to look hard to see me I was invisible.

I hit high school and discovered drama club. I also hung out with the total opposite crowd - in the 90's known as the "stoners" not that we really did drugs we just wore the heavy metal shirts, stone washed too tight jeans and the long hair.. Ok they did, I didn't, I still didn't quite "fit" in but I tried like there was no tomorrow.  I met a boy who thought I hung the moon, I tried like hell to figure out what it was he saw in me.

I hit my 20's married had a small child and still didn't quite "fit". I had in my mind the ideal of what pretty was supposed to be - thank you tv and magazines.  I didn't fit the bill.  Oh sure I'd have pretty moments and my parents told me I was beautiful - they kinda have to - its a law or something.

Then I hit my 30's and things and my mental picture started to change (that and I had been through the ringer, but that's another story for well never ;-). I had gotten out of a bad marriage, a really bad relationship and was on the road to recovery.  I met another boy, who thinks I am all that.

In the journey to get fit and find me I have come to embrace my tallness (I am 5'11) and that I am not the cute tiny little doll every one wants to rescue.  Frankly I am fine with that, I can rescue myself when needed. Yes, its nice to have someone to do it but its better to know you can rescue yourself!

Now I am facing the big 40 and I know I'll never be classified as a classic beauty - that's cool I have some awesome imperfections.  I am figuring out exactly what it is that they saw in me..


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Friday, February 22, 2013

Still trying to dig out

Snow totals ended up being 12 inches here ... We are still trying to dig out. Our neighborhood hasn't been plowed yet..

These were taken yesterday about 4 hours after the snow started..

These are 24 hours later - and no the lot still hasn't been plowed

I need to get dug out by tomorrow - Mama has a hair appointment at noon!!
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Thursday, February 21, 2013

Its ok Thursdays

Its Ok Thursdays

to not be thrilled with the 12 inches of snow that has fallen in 12 hours
to be pissy they are saying 5 more inches could fall tonight
to fantasize about running away to to hotel for a day to just relax and watch tv
to say NO - doesn't matter what the question is
to want a piece of lemon cheesecake
to miss smoking every once in awhile
to not know what you want to do for your birthday
to dream about a beach in a tropical location - then check flights just cuz....

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Tuesday, February 19, 2013

I'm the kinda girl who....

Loves heels but wears flats
cusses like a sailor
loves the idea of dressing up but prefers jeans and a nice shirt
loves her nails long
will tell someone off simply because they hurt your feelings
still watches old hair band videos on youtube
loves cut off jean shorts
wants a tan but stays pale because its healthier
listens to a new CD constantly for the first 2 weeks she has it

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Friday, February 15, 2013

Happy Friday!!!


Its been a week - they just seem to get busier and busier...that's a good thing right??

Yesterday I woke up with my shoulder all pissed off and screaming at me ... The muscle from the middle of my back up into my left shoulder was one huge knot, so off to the Chiropractor I went.  It's feeling better but I have to go back this evening and get adjusted again and he has taken me off of upper body work outs for now.. So the treadmill and I are bff's for a week or so. That's ok I have a 5k coming up the end of next month I have to get back into the swing of things again.

So I have stayed off the scale its not an accurate picture of whats going on anyhow.       I did take some more side by side pics to get an idea on where I am at.  I find that is so much more of an accurate gauge than the scale.  I see a few differences, but everyone else has been pointing out things I missed ... like holy cow I have an ass now.... I have never had an ass I was thrilled to see that ... Squats my friends - squats are where the asses are!!

Hello nurse - I have an ass!!!  In the top set of pictures the ones on top were taken Aug of 2011(no ass)  the bottom row Feb 2012 there's the ass!

The last picture was also Feb 2013 - I bought both the color combinations of that top because it was a fricken small - I can't remember the last time a small fit. I generally wear mediums - so I know its just the cut & design but I don't give a damn its a SMALL!! 

The boots are last years find .. yes they are leather and I found them for a whooping $35 - I have worn the hell out of them! 

Can't wait for the weekend and a little slower pace - have a good one y'all!!

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Thursday, February 14, 2013

Happy Valentines Day

I'll be leaving it all on the shelf this year but ............

and V day plans??  Hubs and I may or may not go out for dinner - right now what sounds good is a night of take out, sweat pants and a movie ... I know super freaking sexy right??  Whatever you decide to do I hope you truly enjoy the company you are with and making memories..

We have totally decided to stay in.. We are calling in a dinner order to pick up on our way home, stopping at the store for dessert and a Redbox movie and chilling at home in front of the fire place... After the week I am having add adult drinks to that and it sounds Fabulous to me!

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Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Glam Bag!!

My Glam Bag came in Monday's mail ... This one is labeled Red Carpet Ready..  I love seeing the sparkly pink envelope!!

It's a little smaller than last months - and I have heard some grumbling on the inter-webs over it. I think this month was still a good bag. That little pot (which is full size) out front is Mica's gel eye liner that dries like traditional eyeliner WITHOUT the smears or running down your face later in the day. The regular price is $30 - more than worth the $10 price of the entire bag.

The Flawless Pore less Pixie Primer I have not yet tried as I purchased the Primer that came in November's bag. I had fallen for it. This retails for $29. So there is $59 right there for $10.

The mascara is also a full size that retails for $18.50. The lash cards is a full size at $6.99. So the only sample is the eye shadow.

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Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Tone 'em Tuesdays

Back at it.. For the past few weeks I have really just been relying on what I do in a normal day - which is generally is walking about a mile for general every day life.  I have still been watching what I eat (ok except last week - that was a regular fat girl in paradise) but haven't been super active.  Last night I hit the treadmill and weights again.  Tonight I have a date with Jillian. I am restarting Ripped in 30 because well its my favorite.

When I went grocery shopping Tuesday nothing but healthy hit the cart and I brought home a ton of veggies. I'll roast those tonight and quick stir fry some lean pork and have a pork and veggie stir fry over brown rice.

Last nights try something new (I get so bored with dinner because its all the SAME day after day) was cheesesteak stuffed green peppers and salad - these were a HUGE hit and will become a regular. I found the recipe on Pinterest and adapted it a tad I used thin cut eye of round steak instead of that processed steakums crap.  A pepper half is only 190 cals.

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Monday, February 11, 2013

Weekend wrap up

I know its late Monday afternoon - sorry it was a regular ass kicking Monday for me.  Thankfully this weekend was NOT as eventful as last weekend!

Friday night we just chilled and watched the DVR.  I love doing that, sweats, some munchies taking over the whole couch, Sorry Raz.

Yes this is my couch buddy - yes he is huge and takes up most of the couch.

Saturday the Hubs had to work and I pretty much continued the Friday night saga of holding down the couch and watching the DVR.  Saturday night we rented movies and headed to my sister-in-laws.  We watched Hope Springs - which is a pretty good movie then Rock of Ages - that was so cheesy it was worse than living through the 80's.. I still love the music though.

Sunday was a normal Sunday, sleep in, putter around the house, go grocery shopping then hit the couch for the 3 hours of the Grammys!!

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Friday, February 08, 2013

Thanks for the freaky dreams Chantix

I know its one of the side effects but good night nurse these have been some freaky ass dreams..

Night before last I dreamt the Hubs and I were on a cross country road trip and along the way we picked up a baby that had been abandoned. One the places we stopped had been an old high school now converted into half a hotel half a shopping mall with an event space.

I had left our room with the baby and got lost. I ended up on the mall side over by the event space where there was a WWE event going.  I stopped over by a phone and called over the hotel side to my friends room, who jut happened to be Kim Kardashian and asked her to come find me.  She let me know she was busy with her baby - which at that time was her kitten.

I managed to find my way back to my room where I found some strange guy in our room claiming to be the baby's (the one we found along the way) father.  I managed   to get around him and we went out a window - jumped in the car and the Hubs and I took off with the baby.

Thankfully the alarm went off and it was time to get up.

Last night I dreamt that the doctor told me I was pregnant and instantly I started showing.  Then in the middle of a conversation with someone I don't talk to - never really did I sit straight up and ask, "how can I be pregnant I had a hysterectomy - where am I carrying this baby?"

I then jumped up and ran to the store taking every pregnancy test they have and started peeing on them all at once.  They were all positive  I woke up when the alarm went off so I never did find out where I was carrying the baby.

Have no idea what tonight brings... thankfully none have been slasher dreams.

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Tuesday, February 05, 2013

Odds and ends

Yes, I am aware I have used that title nbefore - I kinda like it better than ramblings..

Digging the song  Thrift Shop By Macklemore and Ryan Lewis - its got a catch beat to it.

(By the way its not edited! So FYI if you are at work or have small ones around)

I know its just Tuesday but its been a LONG week already LOL.

Haven't been working out lately - explains the stress level.

Stopped smoking - also explains the stress level.

Apparently I have offended some and they have decided to unfollow - I'm sorry you were offended however, I never claimed to be the following: A Mommy Blogger (my "child" is 21 and has her own baby - lil man"), a complete fitness blogger - I post little of everything, a blogger with a clean month and prim sense of humor - I grew up on military bases I can out cuss a sailor and I find strange shit funny, I have always been a tad left of center marching to my own drummer. I am in my mid to late 30's (yeah you do the math and figure out how my kid is 21 LMAO and am to old to do the 20 something thing, but to young to retired and behave so I am what I am.

I am not offended you decided to leave - I'm not everyone's cup of tea - that's cool .. Namaste'

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Monday, February 04, 2013

WOW What a Weekend

I'd call for a mulligan but I'm afraid it would get worse..

Friday night we just chilled at home with a pizza and a Redbox rental and  fixed The Hubs laptop - his browser had been hijacked by a search engine tool bar (nasty ass things).

Saturday evening we went to my sister in laws to chill hang up friends and play video's - was going really well until 10:20 pm when I got a call from my mom saying she had fallen and needed help. I made a 20 minute drive in about 10 minutes. Got home (she was at my house watching lil man) and she had fallen keeping lil man from falling through the gate dividing the kitchen and living room.

Her glass are bent to hell and back - they have cut her face pretty good - she had to have 9 stitches - right by her eye, and her eye is black. Honestly it looks like she went 5 rounds with Mike Tyson.

Sunday I ran mom's car back to her (I had to driver her to the ER in her car, mine sits to low for her) then headed to my office for a few hours of work.  Then just vegged - I'm wore out.  I should have cleaned house but meh - just did not have the energy - I had picked up a little on Saturday so that's just going to have to do - I am positive no elf is going to sneak and do it so it will be waiting for me.

I have not gotten a workout in all weekend - back at it Monday.

How was your weekend??

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Friday, February 01, 2013

Goodbye January ... Hello February

So glad to see January go .. it means we are 1 month closer to Spring!!! I abhor winter. I hate being cold.  For 9 months out of the year I do like where I live. Its a beautiful city. Its the 3 months of winter that make me dream of Belize and relocating.  I'm just not a 4 seasons  person. I like summer and slightly cooler summer :-)

Yes I am aware it could be worse and I could live where it snows more and gets colder - ah hell no I couldn't nor would I.. I'm such a warm weather person that the reason for me to move to an even colder climate would have to be pretty compelling - at this point the only other place I'd consider is back to Colorado Springs - which I have always considered home. Until now its the place I had lived for any length of time.

Don't get me wrong I do like Kansas City - its a beautiful city, its not called the City of Fountains for nothing. We have the most fountains in the city in the US and in the Spring and Summer its nice to walk downtown and check them out.  I like walking out of a store in the evening and feeling the day just starting to slip away the heat dissipating and the sun setting, the smell after a summer rain. You just don't get that with snow.

48 more days to go!!

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Just Finished - Mother, Mother - Koren Zailckas

Ever have a book that once you finish it you have no idea what to read next because nothing sounds good after the world you just finished. ...