Sunday, December 31, 2006

Happy New Year, a look back and hopes for the year to come.

Wow another year comes to a close. Time sure does fly the older you get..

Today marks 6 years (3 dating and 3 married) that my darlin Banker Boy and I have been together, it seems like it was just the other day that we were hanging out in what used to be Orlando’s, and you were drawing faces on my arm with my lip-gloss, telling me a string joke.
When I look back over the past 6 years I see how blessed I have been. Even when times are tough there is no one I'd rather be traveling this road with than you.

My daughter has come along way this year, I am very proud of the young woman she is turning out to be. Its taken a lot of hard work to get to this point, at times we have had to drag her kicking and screaming through this journey, but she’s making it. I know that one day it will be all worth it and on the other side will be one strong graceful lady who will be one for the world to reckon with.

My hopes for the year ahead are that we continue to take what the world throws at us with grace and dignity. I hope though that things are a little easier and that fate is a little kinder to us. I wish my husband more happiness and my daughter more self-awareness.

As for me I plan to start working on things that have been ignored for to long and left to lay dormant in hopes that it would just fade away. I know now that after seeing the journey my daughter has been on that its just not possible, things have to be sorted out and questions answered before they no longer haunt us. I hope to be able to tackle it with as much courage as my daughter has shown, so that I may come out the other side a better person with a stronger understanding of myself.

My wish for all of you is that you find what you need and that you do what makes you truly happy. Life is either to long or to short to be unhappy..

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

2006 Year in Review

What did you do in 2006 that you'd never done before?
Nothing that I can think of.

Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Nope, yes I will attempt resolutions again this year.

Did someone close to you give birth?
Not yet

Did anyone close to you die
No

What countries did you visit?
I didn't go out of the country.

What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006?
More confidence in my self, a bit more money and less bills.

What dates from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
This past summer was again a bumpy ass ride.

What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Dealing with things head on.

What was your biggest failure?
Not holding my temper well, and once again letting family get away with guilting me into doing things I don’t want to do.

Did you suffer illness or injury?
Yes.

What was the best thing you bought?
My husband a new cell phone. I hated his old one.

Whose behavior merited celebration?
My daughters, she has come along way in a year.

Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Certain family members.

Where did most of your money go?
Bills and meds

What did you get really, really, really excited about?
This year being over.

What song will always remind you of 2006?
Don’t Cha.

Compared to this time last year, are you:
happier or hardened? Hardened
thinner or fatter? Fatter
richer or poorer? Richer

What do you wish you'd done more of?
Hanging with friends & laughing

What do you wish you'd done less of?
Stressing

How will you be spending Christmas?
I spent it with my family.

Did you fall in love in 2006?
More in love than I already was

Any one-night stands?
No

What was your favorite TV program?
Grey’s Anatomy.

Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
No.

What was the best book you read?
The Interruption of everything.

What was your greatest musical discovery?
The off button on my daughter's rap.

What did you want and get?
A better handle on things.

What did you want and not get?
Better Health

Favorite film of this year?
Cars

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I really can not remember. I am still 29 :D)

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Better health, better finances.

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006?
Professional.

What kept you sane?
My Husband and Megan.

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Nick Lachey

What political issue stirred you the most?
Stem cell research.

Who do you miss?
One of my oldest friends we went to grade school together and have lost touch. Its been years since I have spoken to her.

Who was the best new person you met?
A new coworker.

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006:
Do what makes your heart sing.

Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
Nothing but an empty page
Breathing in an open space
Captured by your moment's grace again
There's so much I left behind Even more that waits in time
Everything's so undefined I'm standing on the edge of my fear
And I see it clear
Here's my resolution
I'm letting go All I need to learn is along this road
And I just want to be the best man I can be
Breathe, it's my resolution
Living life without a plan
Finding solace where I stand
And learning how to love again
And all I want is something real
That I can feel Here's my resolution
I'm letting go All I need to learn is along this road
And I just wanna be the best man I can be
'Cause here's my resolution I'm letting go
All I need to learn is along this road
And I just wanna be the best man I can be Breathe,
it's my resolution
My resolution (Ooh oh oh)

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Tis the season .......... again

Christmas is here again, and the same wackos are at the mall. Truthfully I wished they would stay home and make fruitcake (favorite recipe to follow).

Since when do people get to use strollers as weapons? When the fuck did this become universally accepable? Well its not Ms. Soccer mom, run over my toes or bang me in the ankles again and may baby Jesus have mercy on your soul because your bleached blonde ass is going to need it.

When did prostitute become the latest fashion trend and why? I have never seen so many ladies of the night at the mall before. If this is the big look this season - I am so glad to be behind the times so to speak. Fuck that, I am keeping my hoo hoo covered thank you Britney & Lindsay.

Seriously though I am not as cranky this year as it seems, I promise.. This year is lower key for us. Less presents less fuss. Soon it will be a new year and with that will bring my new years unresalutions and my anniversary letter to my husband.


Now as promised my favorite fruit cake recipe..


a cup of water
a cup of sugar
four large brown eggs
two cups of dried fruit
a teaspoon of salt
a cup of brown sugar
lemon from your neighbor's tree
nuts from last walnut grove on Piedmont Rd.
a bottle of whiskey.
Sample the whiskey to check for quality.
Take a large bowl. Put it down somewhere.
Check the whiskey again.
To be sure it's the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.
Repeat.
Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in that large, fluffy bowl.
Add one teaspoon of sugar and beat again.
Make sure the whiskey is still okay.
Cry another tup.
Turn off the mixer! It's splattered dough everywhere!
Beat two leggs and add to the fluffy bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
Mix on the tuner.
If the fired druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity... Whew is it hot in here ?
Okay.. Next, sift two cups of salt... or something.
Check the whiskey.
Now sift the lemon ... urp ... juice and strain your nuts.
Add one table ... spoon ... of sugar or something ... Who cares? Whatever the heck you can find.
Grease the oven.
Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees.
Don't forget to beat off the turner.
Check the whishkey again.
Throw up in the bowl and go to bed.

Saturday, October 14, 2006

*Sigh* Memories of childhood

You're an 80s kid if...

1. You've ever ended a sentence with the word SIKE.

2. You watched the Pound Puppies.

3. You can sing the rap to the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and can do the Carlton

4. Girls wore biker shorts under their skirts and felt stylishly sexy.

5. You yearned to be a member of the Baby-sitters club and tried to start a club of your own.

6. You can still jam to the theme song for Thundercats. Thunder, Thunder, THUNDERCATS, OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!

7. You know that "WOAH" comes from Joey on Blossom

8. Two words: Hammer Pants

9. If you ever watched "Fraggle Rock"

10. You had plastic streamers on your handle bars... and spokey-dokes or playing cards on your spokes for that incredible sound effect

11. You can sing the entire theme song to "Duck Tales" (Woo ooh!)

12. It was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday.
Kids IncorporatedK-I-D-S

13. You wore a ponytail on the side of your head.

14. You saw the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on the big screen..and still know the turtles names.

15. You got super-excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.

16. You made your mom buy one of those clips that would hold your shirt in a knot on the side.

17. You played the game "MASH"(Mansion, Apartment, Shelter, House)

18. You wore stonewashed Jordache jean jackets and were proud of it.

19. L.A. Gear....need I say more?

20. You wanted to change your name to "JEM" in Kindergarten. (She's Truly Outrageous.)

21. You remember reading Tales of a fourth grade nothing and all The Ramona books.

22. You know the profound meaning of "WAX ON, WAX OFF"

23. You wanted to be a Goonie.

24. You ever wore fluorescent clothing. (some of us...head-to-toe)

25. You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell off and his cheeks shifted.

26. You have ever pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf.

27. You took lunch boxes to school... and traded Garbage Pailkids in the schoolyard.

28. You remember the CRAZE, then the BANNING of slap bracelets.

29. You still get the urge to say "NOT" after every sentence.

30. You remember Hypercolor t-shirts.

31. Barbie and the Rockers was your favorite band.

32. You thought She-ra (Princess of Power!) and He-Man should hook up.

33. You thought your childhood friends would never leave because you exchanged handmade friendship bracelets.

34. You ever owned a pair of Jelly-Shoes. (some of us had them in every color)

35. After you saw Pee-Wee's Big Adventure you kept saying "I know you are, but what am I?"

36. You remember "I've fallen and I can't get up"

37. You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline skates.

38. You ever got seriously injured on a Slip and Slide.

39. You have ever played with a Skip-It.

40. You had or attended a birthday party at McDonalds. (skating rink actually! All skate in the oppsite direction)

41. You've gone through this nodding your head in agreement.

42. You remember Popples.

43. Don't worry, be happy

44. You wore like, EIGHT pairs of socks over tights with high top Reeboks.

45. You wore socks scrunched down (and sometimes still do..getting yelled at by younger hip members of the family)

46. You remember boom boxes and walking around with one on your shoulder like you were all that.

47. You remember watching both Gremlins movies.

48. You know what it meant to say "Care Bear Stare!!"

49 You remember watching Rainbow Bright and & My Little Pony Tales

50. You thought Doogie Howser/Samantha Micelli was hot.

51. You remember Alf, the lil furry brown alien from Melmac.

52. You remember New Kids on the Block when they were cool...and don't even flinch when people refer to them as "NKOTB"

53. You knew all the characters names and their life stories on "Saved By The Bell," The ORIGINAL class.

54. You know all the words to Bon Jovi - SHOT THROUGH THE HEART. (still have the cd - thank you very much!)

55. You just sang those words to yourself.

56. You remember watching Magic vs. Bird.

57. Homemade Levi shorts.. (the shorter the better)

58. You remember when mullets were cool!

59. You had a mullet!

60. You still sing "We are the World"

61. You tight rolled your jeans.

62. You owned a bannana clip.

63. You remember "Where's the Beef?"

64. You used to (and probably still do) say "What you talkin' 'bout Willis?"

65 You had big hair and you knew how to use it.

66. You're still singing "SHOT THROUGH THE HEART" in your head, aren't you! ROCK ON!!!

Saturday, September 16, 2006

New Look

Major thanks to one of my bestest friends RadioVixen for the new look. It took hours, I owe you a latte and some cheesecake!!

Thanks again! You are the bomb diggity!

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

And she grows up..

Well my baby is 15 now, a freshman and has her very first job. Holy shit when did this happen? I remember very vividly wiping the strained peas off her face. In a few short years this girl child/woman will be going off to college and out into the world. Will she be ready? Have I taught her the skills she will have to possess? Have I shown her what a real woman looks like and behaves?

I won't let her date yet, how is she going to handle paying bills? She forgets to clean her room, how on earth will she remember to lock her doors and go grocery shopping? We can't get her to ditch bad friends and drama; what is she going to do when the bad friend and drama is responsible for half the rent? She doesn't even know how to drive yet.

I have taught her self worth, I am teaching her the value of a dollar. She is experiencing what it is like to want something so very much only to find it is not in her budget, (hence the job). I am hoping she is learning that she can't always take the easy road and that the right thing is not always the fastest and easiest way.

I am teaching her that sometimes you just have to make the best out of a not so good situation. She is a very determined young lady. She can be very stubborn. She will debate with you for hours for something she either wants or if she thinks you are wrong about something.

Is she going to be ready? Better yet will the world be ready for her? I am teaching her how to be a woman, her father is teaching her how to drive.

Monday, August 07, 2006

Walking through the halls of high school.

So I went surfing around myspace tonight and found the alumni page for my high school. Talk about a flood of memories, and I must admit to being a little homesick. All and all high school was pretty good for me. I was in the drama club and a thespian. Memories of all the plays we did, the scenery built, production deadlines and what not and for a few moments I was back in the halls of Harrison High School. Tight-rolled stone washed jeans and all.

I remember how we all could not wait to be seniors, then to walk out of those school doors for the last time and into the real world. If we only knew then what we do now. Would we have slowed down a little and looked around, hung out at the lockers and talked a bit more?

I think about my friends and wonder what they are doing now? Has life been kind to them? Are they what they had hoped they would be? Have they achieved their dreams, or have they changed them with the passing years? Do they wish that they could change things?

Soon the class of 1992 will have been out into the real world for 15 years, where did the time go? The next time we blink a 20 year class reunion will be here. Will we still judge each other as harshly as we did then, or will we be kinder to each other as time passes?

How many of us will rush to lose that 15 or 20 extra pounds the year before the big 20? Will we discuss stock portfolios or remember the classmates we lost before we even graduated? I remember my friends and hope time and the future have been kind to them, I hope they are kinder to themselves.

My hope for the future? That my daughter slows down, enjoys and cherishes her high school years, they are gone before you know it. Then one night you are sitting at the computer staring at and alumni page and wondering where the years went.

Saturday, August 05, 2006

Goodbye My Lover

I just think this song is pretty - sad but pretty. I have never heard this song before. I ran across it, on youtube.com set with a slide show of pictures of a couple who gave up to soon....

Goodbye My Lover
by James Blunt
Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

The scream heard in 5 states....

I stepped on the scale last night....For the first time in 5 years. Yes I said 5 years, nope I don't even get on that thing at the doctor's office, yes you can refuse to do so. I don't own a scale. My first thought was "well eating WAS fun, but that's so over now". No more sonic bacon cheeseburgers and onion rings for me! Now I am not totally clueless, yes I knew I was gaining. I had to keep going up in sizes of my jeans. I can now stock my own denim warehouse in various sizes.

I am a pretty tall chica, I stand at 5'11 1/2, and I do know that I am still in my whole height to weight ratio. HOWEVER I am not comfortable, so this is an issue, well and I am vain about this also. I have been this size before and didn't like it then either.

unfortunately my soon to be 15 year old daughter was in the same vicinity I was when I got on the scale, as was my sister-in-law and mother-in-law (I was at my sister-in-law's house). As I came to from the shock at seeing real numbers staring at me, the aforementioned soon to be 15 year old asks if I would like some tips in taking the weight back off. I asked her if she would like the numbers of denture clinics. I guess that hint wasn't enough for her because then she asked when I would be hitting the gym, either that or she REALLY wants a new set of teeth.

Have I mentioned I hate exercise with a passion? I hate to sweat, abhor it actually. Yeah I know its good for you. Phooey, doesn't mean I want to actually do any of it. LOL. However it appears that I am going to have to suck it up and start.

Yeah this is going to be pretty, an out of shape smoker working out, but if I want my back to stop hurting I gotta do something. The extra poundage is not good for my uber fucked up back.
I am going to miss my boobs, that the first thing I lose - the girls shrink big time and that sucks. I really like my curves, boobs and having a butt finally...

*sigh* Guess I will have to buy some.

Saturday, July 15, 2006

My 8 hours of being a non smoker, and other musings

Ok so I voyaged into the world of not smoking today, it wasn't pretty. I can get really mean. I always knew that I could be a world class snot and snobby to boot, but today I was just mean. I did tell my husband that I was sorry and I am.

I know that not smoking is so much better for you than to smoke, I get that I really do. I just like my cigarettes - a LOT. I have been smoking since I was 18. Its comforting. I know the odds I know what can happen, I am a really bright gal.

My other musings -

I have started this whole spend less thing. Spent last week watching Oprah's debt diet series. A lot of that hit home big time for me. It made me see things that I was unaware of about myself. Thing is I was shopping to make myself feel better - the whole retail therapy joke, which can be fine once in awhile. But where its not fine is when you realize that what you bought to make yourself feel better or as a treat is gonna make you feel worse when you can't pay the gas bill.
I also know that I don't want to live like 70% of American's which is pay check to pay check, been there it blows, its time to see how the other 30% roll.

More other musings-

My weight is really starting to bother me. On paper my weight is fine for my height, for my personal comfort it is a bit high. Now before you get all up in arms on me, I do not have an eating disorder or a body image problem. I do however have other health issues that are either better or worse depending on where I am in my weight to height ratio. When I am at the higher end where I am now they are worse. So its time to get healthier, eat better and groan exercise.

Then maybe I will be ready to tackle this smoking issue - until then I am sorry to those I let down, because believe me I do know it and because it is my personality to really worry and get upset when someone is even slightly upset with me, I do feel guilty and like shit.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Finish the sentence.....

Ok so I "borrowed" this from someone elses blog - deal! My answers are in bold.


Finish the sentence survey.


My ex was... the antichrist.

Maybe I should... workout more, study more, journal more, spend more time with my daughter.

I love... My husband, my daughter, my baby nephew & pedicures.

I don't understand... stupid people.

I lost... time.

People would say that I'm... strong, loyal, silly, beautiful and funny.

Somewhere, someone is... sick of putting up with his shit, no matter how cute he is.

I will always... be true to me.

Forever is... how long I will love my daughter

I never want to... have regrets.

I think the current President... needs new advisors.

When I wake up in the morning... I wish I was independently wealthy and retired

Life is full of... moments, good or bad they are your moments.

My past is incredibly... wow just wow, you wouldn’t believe half the shit I have survived.

I get annoyed when... people play games and lie

Parties are... what you make them.

I wish... to always be blessed.

Dogs... need let out

My cats... are a hoot.

Tomorrow... is Friday!

I really want... To be comfortable and pain free.

I have low tolerance for people who... are stupid, I hate stupid

If I had a million dollars... I would pay off everything, buy a house, my dream car, invest and take a real vacation.

If I could reach you... I'd say please learn from my life.

I'm totally terrified that... I have unresolved issues that will never have closure.

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Musings, reflections & a bit of rambling.

Its mother's day weekend. Which brings to mind lots of memories. In 1993 On May 11 I married my ex-husband, (we have been divorced now for 6 or 7 years, I would have to pull out the papers to be exact .) This weekend would have been 13 years of martial hell. You've come along way baby. I look back at how my life was then, to what it is today and they are worlds apart. I can't remember many happy holidays, but vividly can recall almost every fight.

Fast forward to May 13, 2006 I am happily remarried to a wonderful man, its been a little over 2 years since our magical wedding day. Thoughts of that day still bring me to tears with wonderful memories. I have a nice apartment, a nice car, a good job.

None of which I had then. Back then I was living in government housing, driving a less than safe car as my good car had been repoed. The changes a decade plus can bring are astounding. Even just 5 years ago my life was chaos. I have grown a lot, achieved some peace with past decisions.

I am looking forward to this weekend. Which is something I couldn't always say.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Just drive already

Why is it that I always end up with the asshole behind me who would rather do anything but drive. In the mornings it is usally some chick putting on her damn makeup or a guy shaving..

UMMM dumbass you do that in the morning BEFORE starting your commute to work.
You wake up late? Well then either be late to work or go makeup less and/or scruffy. Got a phone call pull the hell over. Don't answer the phone, smoke a cigarette and try to drive.

I am sick of those of you who are multitasking putting me and mine in danger.. Drive already damnit!

Sunday, April 30, 2006

I know its been well over a month, such as life. My plate is pretty full at the moment; there is no room for even a smidgen of anything else.

With the teen child its 2 steps forward and 3 steps back. At this rate I should just hand over my 401(k) to her therapist and be done with it. A few weeks back we had a major step back and I ended up in an emergency session with the doctor not just the therapist, but the big gun.

I think her therapist and her shrink need to get on the same damn page of the same fucking book. The doctor says I am moving in the right direction in my parenting, the therapist tells me that I need parenting class.. Between the 2 very different views the teen child has a huge spectrum in which to manipulate the parental folks here. Makes for a very chaotic house.

On April 27, 2006 the worst words in the English language were spoken. Your father has cancer. It seems unreal to even type those words. Now my father and I do not in any way have the ideal relationship, in fact we put the fun in dysFUNction. Nevertheless those words were like a huge punch in the stomach followed by a Chuck Norris style roundhouse kick to the head.
Even now I can't put words to the emotions.

Ironically, yesterday, found me volunteering at a breast cancer survivor luncheon. I sat in a room of 1200 people 95% of the people there were survivors and their co-survivors (husbands, daughters, best friends etc). It was overwhelming and yet inspiring. I sat there trying in vain to control my tears as the stories were shared, hugs were given and laughs were had.

At my table were a mother and daughter both survivors. The daughter was not much older than I am now when she was diagnosed. That just blows my mind. Women my age are not supposed to be a risk group. One woman there was diagnosed at 19.

Right now I am just in my world, isolating myself in order to deal with what is going on. That in and of its self causes me to feel guilty. I just don’t have the energy to deal with other drama at the moment. I just can’t seem to pick up the phone and make a few phone calls that I was supposed to. That makes me feel like a bad friend, which induces more guilt. I keep reminding myself of one thing one of my best friends keeps telling me, “You do not have to keep being someone else’s backbone, its alright to say I can’t right now.”

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Teenagers, headaches, fender benders and trips to the emergency room

What a fucking weekend. I'd call a muligan but I would be afraid of repeating it. Saturday I had a killer headache and was in the middle of trying to detox from a ton of over the counter meds. So in that respect I was living with the pain. Finally Saturday evening I feel some relief, I can think clearly and my head is down to a dull roar. I decide to polish my nails.

Now my nails are a huge deal for me. I am very particular about them, I can't stand chipped or messed up polish in any way shape or form. In saying that you need to realize this means my polish is changed on a weekly basis or sooner if I have a chip or nick. Saturday they were unpolished *gasp*.

I grab my favorite bottle of OPI from my basket and sit on the floor by the side table. I have a coke and Legally Blonde in the DVD player, good time ready to be had by all. The nail polish top is stuck. This thing will not move. So I grasp the bottle tighter to get a better grip and twist. All of a sudden there is a searing pain in my hand and polish everywhere. The bottle had shattered embedding glass in my hand, in the space between my thumb and first finger. There is a huge peice of glass just hanging there out of my hand.

Banker Boy responds by getting me into the bathroom, hand over sink and pulling the glass out. Oh damn I thought I was going to be sick, we then assess that this deems a trip to the emergency room and a $75 dollar co-pay. Toss a towel over bleeding hand and inform sully teenager to get dressed we got to go. Hell you would have thought we would have asked that child to rewrite the magna carta in fucking calligraphy.

2 stiches later and a debate on how I am so not having a tetnus shot, later we head home. I ask for a detour to the gas station for a new coke and a pack of cigarettes. While inside the gas station, some jackass hits my parked car. WTF then he gives attitude because Banker Boy wants a police report.

Fast forward to Sunday. Snotty teenager is STILL trying to take snotty to a whole new level. I am off housework for a week doctor's orders. Banker Boy is out changing the brakes on his truck and transporting his sisters furniture to her new apartment. I kindly request that said teen help me with cleaning up. It would have been easier to ask her to teach the world to sing. At some point in the afternoon she even started arguing with me about arguing with me.

Aparently there is a new language in the world of teens. Clean your room translates to take a 45 minute shower. Your grounded translates to aruging with mom that this does not include going to someones house or having them come here under the guise of homework. Watch your mouth means see how long it takes to make your mothers head explode..

Is it Monday YET????????????

Monday, February 27, 2006

Absolute Frustration

Yeah I know two posts in one day. Neither post really could be melted into just one so...

In the world of Sweet Potato Queens we have a phrase, dropping one's basket, for regular mortals this simply means at the end of one's rope. Yeah there is that whole tie a knot in it, but there are times when the end of said rope is so frayed it is a real possbility that the knot will not hold.

I find myself with my basket balanced on just a finger tip, swinging back and forth in the breeze, ready to drop. In sort I am so frustrated I can't see straight. I am always tired but have trouble sleeping. In addition to chronic daily headaches for 7 years and counting, I am afraid my stomach is rebelling. Its really no wonder with all the meds I take on a daily basis for pain control which is quickly becomming uncontrolable.

I am tired of taking more meds than any person should ever have to only to get 45 mins of just tolorable pain levels. Its not normal to go through a bottle of 100 count migrane medication in a week and a half, plus living on narcotics. No wonder my stomach is saying alright already its enough. Thing is I don't know what to do, where to turn. Surgery been there done that - now worse off. Anti siezure meds - yeah got that t-shirt.

*sigh*

Nick part deux

After some clarification by People magazine. I owe Nick a huge I'm sorry. Apparently the asking for jewelry back is not all that it seems. Its a formality that usually occurs when there is the possiblity of who's personal things belong to whom and Nick was simply asking for his personal things..

Saturday, February 18, 2006

Nick, Nick, Nick


Nick hunny, I realize that Jess now makes more money than you do now and I can understand asking for spousal support. However, to ask for jewelry back that you gave as a gift - tres tacky darlin'.

I know your mama taught you better than that, a gift is a gift. Jess is not asking you for the $50,000 watch back or the sports car she gave you. Lick your wounds, put your career back together and move on sugar. In short be a man about this split.

Sunday, January 01, 2006

2005 Year in Review

I borrowed this from a close friend Radiovixen (link to the right). I liked it so much I thought I would add it to my own blog..


What did you do in 2005 that you'd never done before?
Legally changed my name.

Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I didn't make any last year. I do have some for this year however.

Did someone close to you give birth?
Yes

Did anyone close to you die
No

What countries did you visit?
I didn't go out of the country.

What would you like to have in 2006 that you lacked in 2005?
More confidence in my self, a bit more money and less bills.

What dates from 2005 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
The entire summer - my family went on a journey that I would never wish on anyone.

What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Dealing with things head on.

What was your biggest failure?
Not protecting my daughter better - having blinders on.

Did you suffer illness or injury?
Yes.

What was the best thing you bought?
My pink and white Christmas tree - it brought me a lot of joy.

Whose behavior merited celebration?
My friends, several delt with mother nature and the aftermath with grace and dignity, going above and beyond.
Megan was my rock during a very rough time, there will never be enough thanks yous or words to describe how grateful I am to call her friend.

Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
People I thought were close friends.

Where did most of your money go?
Bills and meds

What did you get really, really, really excited about?
This year being over.

What song will always remind you of 2005?
Rascal Flatts Moving On

Compared to this time last year, are you:
happier or hardened? Hardened
thinner or fatter? Thinner
richer or poorer? Richer

What do you wish you'd done more of?
Hanging with friends & laughing

What do you wish you'd done less of?
Crying

How will you be spending Christmas?
I spent it with my family.

Did you fall in love in 2005?
More in love than I already was

Any one-night stands?
No

What was your favorite TV program?
Desperate Housewives

Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
There are several people that never need to speak to me again.

What was the best book you read?
Memoirs of a Geshia

What was your greatest musical discovery?
The off button on my daughter's rap

What did you want and get?
Help in the office

What did you want and not get?
Better Health

Favorite film of this year?
Memoirs of a Geshia

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Went to dinner & my husband bought me a beautiful ring. I am still 29 :D)

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
For my family to have not gone through the 10th leval of hell.

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2005?
LA Law meets Sex in the City

What kept you sane?
My friends specifically Megan

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Nick Lachey

What political issue stirred you the most?
The Terri Schivo case.

Who do you miss?
One of my oldest friends we went to grade school together and have lost touch. Its been years since I have spoken to her.

Who was the best new person you met?
I would have to say Toyna.

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2005: It's seriously too short and your life doesn't last too long so you've got to jump at the chance when it hangs in front of you. Don't wait. (I loved this answer so much I am borrowing this also!

Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
It seems like yesterday that my world fell from the sky
It seems like yesterday I didn't know how hard I could cry
It feels like tomorrow I may not get byBut I will tryI will try
Wipe the tears from my eyesI'm beautifully brokenAnd I don't mind if you know it
I'm beautifully brokenAnd I don't care if I show it
Everyday is a new dayI'm reminded of the past
Every time there's another stormI know that it won't last
Every moment I'm filled with hope cause I got another chance
But I will tryI will try
Got nothingLeft to hide
Without the highs and the lows
Where would we go
Where would we go

Wordless Wednesday