Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Every Woman Should Have

Every Woman Should Have
Maya Angelou

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ... enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own, even if she never wants to or needs to...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ... something perfect to wear if the employer, or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .. a youth she's content to leave behind....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ... A past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ... .. a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE. One friend who always makes her laugh ... and one who lets her cry...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .... A good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE. Eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal, that will make her guests feel honored...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ... A feeling of control over her destiny.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... how to fall in love without losing herself.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... how to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without; ruining the friendship.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... when to try harder ... and WHEN TO WALK AWAY...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... that she can't change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... that her childhood may not have been perfect...but its over...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... how to live alone ... even if she doesn't like it...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW. Whom she can trust, whom she can't, and why she shouldn't take it personally...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... where to go... be it to her best friend's kitchen table ... or a charming inn in the woods... when her soul needs soothing...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... what she can and can't accomplish in a day... a month...and a year...

Saturday, September 08, 2007

2am Random Musings and other shit

2 am on Friday night/Saturday morning one of my favorite times. I get to stay up as late as I want and not have to worry about draggin ass at the office the next day, and its quiet. Generally I am up reading a book or watching a move. Tonight I have been surfing archived blog entries.

This is week has been a spectacular craptastic week, totally fucking waste of makeup. Yes the whole damn week. It started last week and just progressively got worse. I am positive it was the universes way of saying "fuck you , fuck you right in the ear".

I finally called and made a doctors appointment for next week. Those who know me are cheering. I have been putting this off for awhile (read LONG while). However my pain management is no longer managing and I am taking more and more meds and getting less and less relief and have started to have new issues. So Weds afternoon will find me seeing the doctor. Now I just gotta get to the Gyn and the dentist - yeah don't hold your breath on that last one unless you think smurf blue really is your color.

September is here - which is not that bad, except it brings falls, not that I have an issue with fall per say but fall brings winter and I have HUGE issues with winter. I fucking HATE winter. Snow, ice, frigid temps yeah not FUN. This southern girl wants warm sunshine and balmy breezes and the smell of summer all damn year long. Leaves turning, crisp air and sweaters all suck ass thank you very much.

Congress decided to screw with daylight savings so I don't even get my extra hour of sleep to compensate for the nasty weather until much later this year. Overblown windbags, your the same dumb asses who messed with the bankruptcy laws that are giving me such a hard time at work on a daily basis. Once can only hope that soon all y'all will get your cranial rectal reverses scheduled. And while we are at it stop voting yourselves raises. No where else on earth can you do that. Come live in the real fucking world for once, shit its not like y'all are curing cancer or AIDS your just not that damn important!!

Spammers - stop sending me crap emails - I don't need a bigger penis thank you very fucking much, I am not falling for your "lottery" and the virus you keep trying to inflict on my pc with your greeting cards from coworkers and old friends is not funny.

My mind at 2 am is a strange place to be...

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Its September again

Next week will be September 11, a hard day for just about every American alive. The day for me is especially painful. I will never forget, as so many of us never will, exactly where I was. I was on I435 on my way to work when the news came over the radio that the first tower was hit. I was in my office when the second hit. At that moment I was glued to the radio, never knowing the call I would receive later that night would drop me to my knees.

I left my office early that day - most of us did. To go home and watch the coverage. I remember sitting glued to the TV tears just flowing as they replayed the plane crashes over and over. Images that are forever burned into my mind now.

I vaguely remember hearing the phone ring. But will never forget the call. I listened as a disconnected voice told me that Craig's brother had been in the first tower. Panic overwhelmed me as this event became even more personal. Anger came from no where. I screamed and fell to my knees. I had seen the coverage, I knew what the chances were of survival, it had been years since I had even uttered anything resembling a prayer. But I prayed for hours that he was still with us and if not by the grace of God please please have let it be quick and as painless as possible.

Chris was the brother I never had. My own personal James Dean. Man I miss you. every once in a while I will swear I hear your voice or see you walking around the corner. I almost scream your name when it hits me your gone. Your future was so bright.

It kills me that I will never see your smile again, hear your laugh when you tease me. I get mad when I think about never being at your wedding, holding your kids and playing Auntie. I know there is a reason for everything, this one I am still searching for.

As the 11th comes near again just like any other time you are never far from my mind. I promise to try not to cry this year, but to celebrate the phenomenal but short life you led. I love and miss you every day.


Wordless Wednesday