Saturday, July 15, 2006

My 8 hours of being a non smoker, and other musings

Ok so I voyaged into the world of not smoking today, it wasn't pretty. I can get really mean. I always knew that I could be a world class snot and snobby to boot, but today I was just mean. I did tell my husband that I was sorry and I am.

I know that not smoking is so much better for you than to smoke, I get that I really do. I just like my cigarettes - a LOT. I have been smoking since I was 18. Its comforting. I know the odds I know what can happen, I am a really bright gal.

My other musings -

I have started this whole spend less thing. Spent last week watching Oprah's debt diet series. A lot of that hit home big time for me. It made me see things that I was unaware of about myself. Thing is I was shopping to make myself feel better - the whole retail therapy joke, which can be fine once in awhile. But where its not fine is when you realize that what you bought to make yourself feel better or as a treat is gonna make you feel worse when you can't pay the gas bill.
I also know that I don't want to live like 70% of American's which is pay check to pay check, been there it blows, its time to see how the other 30% roll.

More other musings-

My weight is really starting to bother me. On paper my weight is fine for my height, for my personal comfort it is a bit high. Now before you get all up in arms on me, I do not have an eating disorder or a body image problem. I do however have other health issues that are either better or worse depending on where I am in my weight to height ratio. When I am at the higher end where I am now they are worse. So its time to get healthier, eat better and groan exercise.

Then maybe I will be ready to tackle this smoking issue - until then I am sorry to those I let down, because believe me I do know it and because it is my personality to really worry and get upset when someone is even slightly upset with me, I do feel guilty and like shit.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Finish the sentence.....

Ok so I "borrowed" this from someone elses blog - deal! My answers are in bold.

Finish the sentence survey.

My ex was... the antichrist.

Maybe I should... workout more, study more, journal more, spend more time with my daughter.

I love... My husband, my daughter, my baby nephew & pedicures.

I don't understand... stupid people.

I lost... time.

People would say that I'm... strong, loyal, silly, beautiful and funny.

Somewhere, someone is... sick of putting up with his shit, no matter how cute he is.

I will always... be true to me.

Forever is... how long I will love my daughter

I never want to... have regrets.

I think the current President... needs new advisors.

When I wake up in the morning... I wish I was independently wealthy and retired

Life is full of... moments, good or bad they are your moments.

My past is incredibly... wow just wow, you wouldn’t believe half the shit I have survived.

I get annoyed when... people play games and lie

Parties are... what you make them.

I wish... to always be blessed.

Dogs... need let out

My cats... are a hoot.

Tomorrow... is Friday!

I really want... To be comfortable and pain free.

I have low tolerance for people who... are stupid, I hate stupid

If I had a million dollars... I would pay off everything, buy a house, my dream car, invest and take a real vacation.

If I could reach you... I'd say please learn from my life.

I'm totally terrified that... I have unresolved issues that will never have closure.

Just Finished - Mother, Mother - Koren Zailckas

Ever have a book that once you finish it you have no idea what to read next because nothing sounds good after the world you just finished. ...