Wednesday, November 26, 2014


I am so random right now.. My car is in the shop - it started over heating yesterday on my way to work. Seems like every year around the holiday's my car decides it needs attention. Sigh - there went Christmas shopping completely..

I got into a Facebook debate yesterday on the situation in Ferguson. For the first time in my entire life so far I was told "your white privilege" is showing  and called a pretentious bitch.  Okay seriously - I was pointing out the LAW as it is written in Missouri and that's showing my white privilege - ugh.  The person I was debating with made the statement "I can tell you grew up richy".  That's a hell of am assumption to make from a Facebook debate and all you can see is my profile picture and the words I wrote.

Yes, there were times my family had it better than some, there were also times we were dirt poor.  I grew up as a Military child, my father was in law enforcement in the Army. That is where all my traveling as a child came from. Later when my father retired he got bored and became a truck driver - it was the late 80's and early 90's he did well. Then the bottom fell out and bam we struggled again. I was a teen mother who finished high school, married the wrong man, survived domestic violence got divorced and put myself through college.

No one should ever assume based on how someone looks how their life has been or who they are. That goes for EVERYONE. Don't assume that I am a "poor little rich girl" because I am educated, well dressed and what life experiences I had as a child and I won't simply assume your a thug because you like baggy clothing with your pants hanging off your ass.

I will NEVER understand protests that end in looting and setting shit on fire. Who the hell do you think y'all are. The cop your pissed at doesn't own the car dealership you just set on fire. Your damn neighbor does and you just harmed them and their family.

That corner restaurant you broke the windows out of and vandalized is owned by 2 young kids trying to make a go of it and support their young children. How dare you harm them in your anger at the "system". That behavior is thug behavior.  That behavior is what makes the nation think your all criminals.

Please do explain to me how that behavior honors the memory of the young man who has lost his life - that life you are PISSED that is gone.  Tell me how that reaction changes a damn thing. Tell me what positive change that behavior brings about?

You think the law is wrong, you think the office "got away with murder" go organize to bring about changes in the law, go respectfully talk to the people who can help you change it, stop harming your neighbors by setting the local pizza joint on fire!

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Monday, November 24, 2014

Weekend Shenanigans

YES! Short week this week.. Just have to get through Wednesday and then 4 day weekend!!!

I got my card exchange cards done this weekend... Now this is not your typical holiday card exchange. They are generally snarky cards  so these were perfect.. Yeah I know I have a really fucking warped sense of humor.. I get it - shits still funny...

Yes that is Charles Manson and his soon to be bride...  So remember when you want to strangle your Great Aunt Edna over turkey gravy things could always be soooo much worse..  You could be this man's father in law...

Saturday night D and I actually did make it to see MockingJay Part 1. With us watching Lil Man while his mom works, date night have been creative. Yes we went at 11 pm to see a 2 hour movie.. It was worth it - awesome movie.

Anymore its gotten to where I won't see a movie unless it is playing either at Fork and Screen or Cinema Suites. I love that I can log on to AMC  purchase the tickets - pick the seats and then just go. Since its assigned seating I do nothave to worry about getting there in time for a GOOD seat - which by the way is the last row center section LOL.

Apparently last call is at 11:30 - so right before that our server brought us extra cokes and an extra bag of popcorn to last us until 1 am..

Sunday I got up at 10 and straightened up the house and got ready to meet a friend of mine at noon at Michaels for card making supplies. We then proceeded to sit at the kitchen table for several hours chatting, joking around and laughing our way through making 35 cards each.. While we did that Lil Man sat at the table coloring the Dora coloring book I grabbed while I was at the store..

I was hoping to end the evening with the AMA's and a glass of wine.. I had paperwork and water instead! Here is to a 3 day work week and hoping I get to watch the AMA's I have on DVR sometime during that 4 day weekend!

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Friday, November 21, 2014

Hey There Friday!!

Holy Crap - Thanksgiving is next week.. This month is just gone. Oddly I am okay with that. I am actually okay with this year being about gone. Sorry 2014 I am so over you. This year has not been a favorite. I'm not saying its been all bad, it hasn't but when it was bad it was really freakin bad.

Christmas is going to be really low key this year. I'm really only buying gifts for the kids. Granted that is so much easier for me to say than to really do. I start to feel guilty or I'll see something that is just perfect for one person then my head will start with "Well if you get ____ something then you HAVE to buy for _____. Can help it, its how I was raised. I also will second guess the hell out of myself and start thinking now matter what I purchase, its not enough.  That also speaks volumes of how I was raised.  I think child really is what you spend your entire life trying to overcome. (Hope Floats).

I'm still plugging away at the family tree - hopefully I will get some time to do that this weekend. I also want to clean out the hall closet and I have some Christmas cards to make for a card exchange. I STILL have no clue what I am making and they have to hit the mail by Monday - so good times! Through some grocery shopping and laundry in there stir add watching my grandbaby and you have a typical weekend in suburbia. I Would love to slip out and see MockingJay but somehow I just don't see that happening..

Favorite moment this week... Lil Man cheesin out in Noni's bed..

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Thursday, November 20, 2014

This about Sums it Up

I saw this posted on Instagram Monday and though yup it fits..  I am at the point in my life where I am too old and too tired for BS. I'm not in high school anymore - I don't feel the need to fit in with the "cool" kids I have my core group of friends and I am good with that.

If you don't like me fine. I'm not gonna try to make you like me. There is enough stress and drama in my life without anyone adding to it.  I have an aging parent to take care of, my 23 year old daughter and her 2 year old son living with me.  I work 60 hours a week then take care of my grandbaby while his mother works. I have almost NO personal time, I have NO social life.  What personal time I do have I don't want it filled with drama.

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Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Wednesday Confessions

I confess to reading the New York Times interview with Jayden and Willow Smith .................. three freaking times. A few thoughts that came up each time.

1. Because.............. Scientology
2. WTAF (what the actual fuck)
3. Do Jada and Will know their kids are high as fucking kites and giving interviews to The Times?

Seriously can anyone explain that interview to me?? For those who have no earthly idea what I am talking about here it is Times Article. Go ahead I'll wait...

Done? Okay now what the hell are those kids saying?????????

I confess I have a card exchange coming up that I have not even started crafting the cards for. Nor do I have a clue on what to make.

I confess to posting this to Facebook yesterday and laughing way to hard...

Happy Wednesday!

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Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Favorite Things and a Few I wants!!!

There is a  new skin care line out that has taken the beauty world by storm. It sold out online almost instantly. I grabbed a few items and I am in LOVE.. Its by Nip & Fab and its the Viper Venom line.

I noticed a difference in the first week I started using this.. Fine lines were muted and my skin was a lot softer. 

Kohl's has some Elle' Point dress pants that are totally awesome - I now wished I had found them sooner and had gotten more than 1 pair.

These baby's are thicker than normal dress pants and hang really well. Bonus they are seriously soft. They don't look it but they are the "bootcut" version of this pant. The straight leg is more like a legging.

I got this Alex and Ani leather wrap bracelet and have worn it every day since it arrived..

It goes well with EVERYTHING..

My I want is a limited edition Naked On the Run Pallet from UD.. Comes out December 1st..

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Friday, November 14, 2014

Down the Rabbit Hole I went .............

Better known as Oh my lord.. I think that site is worse than Pintrest.. Thought process is the same "Oh just one more document view, wait WHAT did that say.. Ok just 10 more minutes." Four freaking hours later and you are debating on if just a few hours of sleep is okay or is it better to not get any and go straight to work... For the record - get the few hours of sleep and go to the Starbucks drive through for a 55 gallon drum of coffee. Also - not that I am suggesting this - but Energy Now  pills help with that boost.

I still have NOT once single clue about my dad's side of the family, but my mother's side has just exploded.. I have found what appears to be my "gateway" ancestors - meaning the ones who immigrated - thing is I get stuck because I can't open documents that are not US documents.  Which begs the question - do you really have to pay the fee to search worldwide or is there somewhere else on the ol' internets where I can find this stuff??

What I have found so far is really cool..  Old civil war military draft cards, pictures of both people and grave markers. Birth, marriage and death certificates. I am just so fascinated by it all that its where I have spent the bulk of my free time this past week.  I am hoping that at some point there will be a spark that opens up my dad's side of the family.

I am also questioning what you add to your own history to be out there for your 6th time great grand child to find. Like my first marriage, do I add it, it did happen, no children resulted just a metric shit ton of bad debt and horrible memories - but since it happened do you add it??? As much as I'd like to pretend it never occurred it did.

Then comes the question do you just add the person with the mention of the marriage and divorce and leave it at that or do you then add their family members? I see why you might but honestly you tore that limb clean off the tree and with no shared children why would you add the EX's family??

Would you add him? What about HIS family to YOUR tree??

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Monday, November 10, 2014


Over the weekend one of the genealogy sites had a free search weekend.  So on a whim I typed in my name.. I found me, then started adding family members. It quickly became apparent that even though I know we have roots. I can't find much of anything, anywhere so it feels like we just appeared out of thin air.

I also realized that I know diddly about my dad's side of the family. I can't even produce names to plug into a website. They just were never talked about. Like EVER. I did ask once and got told that my grandfather was an extremely mean man and that my grandmother left when my dad was three. Just up and left. So I was told, who knows.  I was also told to NEVER ask again, so I didn't.

My mother is also pretty tight lipped about her family. I know both my grandparents were alcoholics, which is why I was never permitted to really visit them. It helped my dad was Military and we traveled and lived everywhere. In fact when my grandfather passed we had to get an emergency flight back to California from Germany.

I remember looking in the casket and thinking "hmm, so that's papaw." Pretty sad actually when you stop to think that I really didn't know what my own grandfather looked like. Hell I didn't know what ETHER of them looked like.

No wonder I don't really have strong family ties especially with my extended family and it doesn't usually bug me that we are not close. We are not a ride or die family, to be honest if there is a "die uttered its generally in the sentence of fuck off and die" which pretty much sums up why I don't speak to my 3 sisters or my niece.  If they are around and your missing a knife, you can generally find it in your back....

I am pretty close to my husbands family and over the past 10 years we have gotten huge.. Immediately family is now at 15 members. Honestly maybe that's the family tree I should start researching, I'm sure it would be easier when I have the family members right here to ask, then tackle my own where there is no one to give answers just records that can't talk about............

The only advice I have is to talk to your family historian's while you can, write it down share it. Don't let future generations feel like they just came from the mist with no roots to feel connected to..

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Friday, November 07, 2014

Friday Funnies & Favorites

I seriously want a penguin now!

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Wednesday, November 05, 2014


Wednesday Confessional time:

Thus far it has been a week of Monday's in fact I still have the blog window open with a draft for Monday's post, I got 2 sentences in and my day blew up so there it still sits.  At this point I should just delete it as that train of thought has completely derailed and there were NO survivors.

I bought new vitamins - they are a stress formula... They smell like un-neutered cat piss... Every time I open the bottle I can't help but think "I paid HOW much to lick the inside of a litter box??"

The results of last night election piss me off...

During the week I can't wait for the weekend then on the weekend I can't wait to get back to work.

The clutter of 4 people living in 860 square feet have thrown my anxiety off the fucking charts. I have to take a deep breath daily to keep from throwing EVERYTHING out an open window.  I was the asshole vacuuming at 9:30 pm last night.  Sorry neighbors - wait no I am not, just doing that helped my mental well being.

I still haven't reset the wall clock in my office - which honestly is a mean trick to do to oneself in the afternoons.

I want to do less than nothing this weekend.

I have laundry to do this weekend...

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Just Finished - Mother, Mother - Koren Zailckas

Ever have a book that once you finish it you have no idea what to read next because nothing sounds good after the world you just finished. ...