Over the weekend one of the genealogy sites had a free search weekend. So on a whim I typed in my name.. I found me, then started adding family members. It quickly became apparent that even though I know we have roots. I can't find much of anything, anywhere so it feels like we just appeared out of thin air.
I also realized that I know diddly about my dad's side of the family. I can't even produce names to plug into a website. They just were never talked about. Like EVER. I did ask once and got told that my grandfather was an extremely mean man and that my grandmother left when my dad was three. Just up and left. So I was told, who knows. I was also told to NEVER ask again, so I didn't.
My mother is also pretty tight lipped about her family. I know both my grandparents were alcoholics, which is why I was never permitted to really visit them. It helped my dad was Military and we traveled and lived everywhere. In fact when my grandfather passed we had to get an emergency flight back to California from Germany.
I remember looking in the casket and thinking "hmm, so that's papaw." Pretty sad actually when you stop to think that I really didn't know what my own grandfather looked like. Hell I didn't know what ETHER of them looked like.
No wonder I don't really have strong family ties especially with my extended family and it doesn't usually bug me that we are not close. We are not a ride or die family, to be honest if there is a "die uttered its generally in the sentence of fuck off and die" which pretty much sums up why I don't speak to my 3 sisters or my niece. If they are around and your missing a knife, you can generally find it in your back....
I am pretty close to my husbands family and over the past 10 years we have gotten huge.. Immediately family is now at 15 members. Honestly maybe that's the family tree I should start researching, I'm sure it would be easier when I have the family members right here to ask, then tackle my own where there is no one to give answers just records that can't talk about............
The only advice I have is to talk to your family historian's while you can, write it down share it. Don't let future generations feel like they just came from the mist with no roots to feel connected to..