I couldn't sleep last night. I had gotten more than just a little down after yesterday's events and found myself listening to the music I have on my pc and surfin the net. In my travels I found a website memorial a mother had designed for her son. As I found myself reading the pages and the tributes of a mother, father and friends who had lost someone way too soon without warning. I discovered myself just sobbing in sorrow over a teenage boy I'd never met.
In that moment reading his mothers words I had a realization, no matter how upset I am over the way things are going, the turn of events we are dealing with and will deal with for the rest of our life, I still have my baby. Yes I grieve for certain things that may never be and ideals that have changed, but when its all said and done I have my daughter. Many who have had to deal with this disorder no longer have their child.
So even in the midst of the drama, the fights from hell, the worn out days where I think my giveashitter is broken beyond repair, I will stop, think and say a prayer that at least I have her - it could be so much worse. There will always be the good days and the not so good days, we will even have very very bad days but we at least have them and for that I will always be grateful. And for ever good day that balances several bad ones in a row, I will treasure them and learn to hang on to those days to get us through the tough ones.