Friday Letters

Dear Universe: Please pick on someone else or at least let up a bit I need to catch my breath.

Dear Family: When I warn you that I am at my limit and you keep pushing until I literally lose it - that's your damn fault. You received a warning shot it simply is not my fault you choose to ignore it. Don't act all surprised when I flip out and tell you exactly what I think and how I feel about what you have said, what you have done and what you are doing. You act like you are new here.

Further more, stop acting like you are entitled to information - personal information, that has nothing to do with you.  I don't HAVE to share a damn thing with you, I couldn't care less if I told the dog down the street but not you. I get to CHOOSE who I tell what to. It doesn't involve you, it doesn't effect you. You are not entitled to know just because you are related to me.

Dear Parents: Stop giving your kids the world, stop praising them when they every single little thing and for goodness sakes stop giving out trophies for simply showing up. All you are really doing is making the next generation feel like they don't have to work for anything, the world owes them everything and that they can run around acting like the Heir to the Massengill Fortune.

I am all for building self esteem but stop over inflating them so that when they hit the real world they #1 are ready for it. #2 they are not running around acting like little assholes and treating everyone like personal servants and #3 they don't get all butt hurt and need therapy when the world runs them the fuck over. Trust me I have a child from the Millennium generation and she treats everyone like shit unless you are from here generation and the rest of the world wants to slap the snot out of her.


Dear Ladies: stop saying I'm sorry for EVERYTHING

Friday Letters

Dear Self: Stop paying people to hurt you.

Dear Mouth: Please Hurry up and heal... Yes I am the corner of "Oh man that hurts like a bitch" and "you paid good money for this" (read like the Walgreens commercials).

Dear Winter: The holiday's are over you may now leave, I'm flat out sick of being cold.

I am at the point in the season where I have to remind myself just WHY I live here.

Dear Coffee: I miss you <-- 2="" allowed="" for="" have="" more="" nbsp="" not="" p="" to="" weeks...="">
Dear Weekend: Thank you for being here so I can just relax some more and hopefully not be in pain come Monday.

Dear Next Week: First full week of work in 2 weeks... please do not be mean!

Friday Letters and Funnies

Its been a hot minute since I have done Friday Letters, so I thought I would resurrect that for today..

Welcome to Friday the 13th!

Dear Human Race, stop taking everything so damn seriously - no one gets out alive. Stop being so easy to "offend" all this PC behavior these days is so out of hand you are charging a 6 year old with sexual harassment for kissing his crush on the hand.

Also while you are at it population of the earth - purchase some common sense. It boggles my mind that not a lot of you have any!!

Dear Whomever hired the sign language interpreter for the Nelson Mandela memorial service WTAF?? No seriously, What the fuck, especially after this quote was released  "The sign language interpreter widely ridiculed for his 'fake' performance at the Nelson Mandela memorial says he's a fully qualified interpreter and claims that no one says he's interpreted wrong. Thamsanqa Jantjie reluctantly acknowledged that he is a "patient receiving treatment for schizophrenia." Jantjie still says he thinks he's been a champion of sign language"

Dear FB Peeps, Bitstrips?? Please let that crap die - or at least stop sharing them directly from a FB album so that my setting "block everything from bitstrips" will work.. I hate those damn things and I am getting ready to send chain mail to all you asses who do this..

Dear Hollywood - stop photoshopping the snot out of things. YOU are a huge reason women have body issues..

Dear UPS please hurry and deliver my new mattress!!  (Yes I will even order a new bed online)

Friday Funnies - or things that cracked me up this week.. Some maybe be repeats oh well..

Friday's Letters and Things that Made Me Laugh This Week

WOOT Friday's here, and this month its Friday the 13!!

Dear Pinterest Pinner: Stop pinning dead links..

Dear Pinterest: If you could just put the outfits I pin directly into my closet that would be great kthanksbye!

To Facebook Users: Before posting warnings - Google that shit make sure its not a hoax.

Dear Population: stop using the word "delish" to refer to anything other than food. I'm sorry a neon sign is NOT delish.

To the Drivers I had to swerve to avoid being hit by this week: Put down your damn phone. If you hit me while texting and driving I guarantee you will be sorry.. ITS NOT THAT DAMN IMPORTANT!


Now for the things that made me laugh this week

Friday Letters

Dear Classmates.com - Please stop asking me how do you remember _____ I don't remember them, no one who went to a large high schools knows everyone in their graduating class.. I get it your trying to still make bank now that everyone has connected on Facebook.

Dear Dentist - Please don't hurt me.

Dear Farrah Abraham - Shut up you are a moron oh and close your damn legs.

Dear Creepy Sales Guy at the Mall - No means no I don't want your $400 jar of miracle cream  and putting at 20 times magnification mirror up to a woman's face is just douchy.

Dear Media - Just because a woman steps out sporting bling on THAT finger doesn't mean you need to piece together a bs story on are they or are they not engaged.  Lots of women wear rings on "that finger" its not like its taboo to sport a ring if your not married..

Dear Pamela Hicks - Well aren't you a lovely bit of sunshine.  16 years after Princess Diana's death you have to come out to the media and blast her. Uh did you think about how her son's would feel about that.  I get your Charles' cousin - which makes you family but you really should know better than to slam a person 16 years after her death. Keeping it classy "Lady" Hicks..

Dear Calendar Year - Please slow down, I'm not ready to start thinking about Christmas shopping just yet.

Dear 50 Shades of Gray Casting - WTF??

Friday Letters

Dear Drivers on 435 - this is not the 405 in LA stop shooting at each other dumbasses.

Dear Population in general - WTF Is wrong with you? First the beating death of a runner earlier in the week because you were bored - now a WWII vet beaten to death.. I hope ally'all end up with a 132 lb scrotum ... (Google the learning channel - just not at work)

Dear Economy - why did I got to college and now have student loans out the ass when Costco starts at $11.50 an hour and Tyson's fork life drivers make over $16?

Friday Letters

Dear Weather - I can't believe its August - you're acting like April, its a little strange.

Dear 2013 -  SLOW DOWN! Geesh you're going by so fast we all have whip lash.

Dear Diamond Emporium - WOW I'm so excited to see what you have mailed to me.

Dear Readers - thanks for sticking around even though I have been lax on blogging.

Dear Marcy - you look freaking fab girlfriend - keep on keeping on you got this!

Dear D - I love you, I know its crazy, I know its gonna be crazier - one day things will slow back down instead of me going Mach 3 - or maybe it won't LOL.

Dear Weekend HELLO!!!!!

Friday Letters

Hello Friday!!  Nice to see you again.

Dear Blog sorry you did not get the overhaul and new look yet - its been a crazy busy week.

Dear Prince William and Duchess Kate - cute baby! Thanks for giving him the male form of my middle name, its always cool when someone names their child after you. :-)

Dear My Fitness Pal - I think need to break up. You are way to time consuming and needy - I know what I need to eat and what portion sizes are.  Its now gotten to a point where all I think about is how many calories are in stuff and after a chat I had with Meg yesterday in email I am not eating enough anyway which explains why I am so tired these days and why my body has stopped changing.

Dear D, The crazy will slow down sometime this fall (fingers crossed) - thanks for hanging in there. I love you.

Dear Lil Man, OMG you are so cute - I love how you get so excited that you can walk now. Thank you for coming by last night - it made my day.

Happy Friday y'all make it a good one!!

Friday Letters

Dear Friday, thank you for finally getting here - its just not been my week.

Dear Summer thank you for getting here I was beyond tired of freezing.

Dear DG'ers thanks for lending an ear and some kind words before I totally lost it.

Dear Complex please reopen the damn gym I'm slowly going insane.

Dear Spotify thank you for the tunes.

To the ones who don't get it - you don't have to get it. Its not a big deal that you don't understand why I did something or you think its odd.  Frankly I am perfectly fine with you thinking I am odd. at least odd isn't boring.

“As long as you make an identity for yourself out of pain, you cannot be free of it.” 

~Eckhart Tolle

Friday Letters and stuff..

Hello Friday!!! How ya been, its nice to see you again!

Dear Mother Nature, thank you for the kick ass weather we had this week - I don't mind the rain so much when its warmer out and the next day is sunny and 70 out.

Dear Jillian, you are ruthless and I cuss you out often, but thank you for the quick results - for that you rock hard!

Dear Lil Man, please stop looking like such a big boy so fast.  I can't get over how much you look like a toddler in such a short time. Noni loves you so much.

Dear Cleaning Fairy - there the hell are you bitch?


So I pulled into the Starbucks drive thru this morning early - on Fridays if you don't get there earlier than normal you are either NOT getting your coffee or you are NOT getting to work on time so 6:45 this morning I was in line (yes, there was already a line) to get my coffee and in pulls this older lady. Thank goodness no one was in her way I think she would have shoved them out of her way to get in the door..

No, shes not SUPPOSED to be parked diagonally...  This is just cracked me up - and y'all thought I was bad when it comes to my coffee..

Friday Letters

Dear FB friend I can blame the damn groundhog if I want to - I don't give a damn about meteorological spring. I'm joking and its my wall.. Something you don't like seeing there is an X over there ~~~> hit it hide my posts hide me hide what ever but don't bitch me out because you are tired of seeing it.. again ITS MY DAMN WALL.

Dear well meaning friends - I love you but NO you don't get to scold me like a child because I started smoking again. I am aware I failed I don't need you rubbing my nose in it. Hell I am older than most of you anyhow, so why do you feel you get to talk to me like i'm a precocious child?

Dear weekend thank you for finally getting here - its going to be a busy one but I am hoping to find some downtime .. I feel like a windup toy who never winds down.

Dear Spring, please get here I'm tired of being cold, wet and gloomy. I'd really like to see the sun and get warm.

Friday Letters

Dear Friday Thank you for FINALLY getting here!!  Its been a crazy week and I am so excited to see you!

Dear Sarpino's thank you for bring me lunch at my office yet again today.

Dear scale please be kind Monday morning.

Dear gym equipment I promise I am coming back, I miss you too.

Dear Kohl's my husband would really like it if you stopped sending me weekly coupons for 20% off  - because of this I come see you every weekend.. Psst I thank you however, my wardrobe seriously needed overhauled.

Dear Hubs, I only want to lose 5 more lbs then the hemorrhaging of the checking account can stop due to new clothes, though I know secretly you are loving your "new" wife.

Dear winter weather, please stay away I am loving the mild temps and am not a cold/snow person anyhow so if you could just skip that this yeah I'd be greatful kthanksbyenow.

Dear weatherman who rather gleefully stated this morning that it looks like rain and snow this weekend - get bent.

Dear followers, thanks for joining me and I hope you have an awesome weekend!!