Friday, May 15, 2015

Filterless or Oblivious - There is a Difference.

There is a huge difference of being filterless and being totally oblivious. I generally run around filterless. Basically if you ask me what I think of something I will tell you, honestly what I think. I do temper that with kindness however. Especially if you are someone I care about.

Being oblivious is pretty much running your mouth with no consideration of who your audience is or how what you say may affect them. You just have to say what it is you are thinking regardless of word choice. You feel it is your given right to run your mouth.  You are so wrapped up in your own indignation you either do not care who you are speaking to or you forget who it is your spewing your vitriol to, or more accurately, at.

Earlier this week I found myself on the receiving end of an oblivious tirade being orchestrated by someone who is actually close to me. Three days later I find that I am still shocked and upset by what was said.  In the moment I was so shocked at what was spewing forth I was unable to react, to speak to do anything more than think "Did I really just hear that"? My heart hurt at what had just been said, hell it still does. I am really not sure I will ever totally move passed it.

I am all for saying what you think, how you feel, and being authentic but I am also a huge fan of knowing your audience and kindness.  You can say what you feel, even angry, and be kind about it.  Not everything has to be a huge rage induced declaration that pretty much just says your being an asshole. When you cross over to the asshole category of your rant I lose any sympathy I may have had for you. Instead I start to become angry at you.  I will no longer see your point, your right to be angry when you cross the line and start attacking and being obnoxious.

I encourage people to speak their minds, be authentic, be filterless YET be kind. You can stand up for yourself and let people know what you think or how you feel without tearing anyone else down.

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