Friday Letters and Funnies

Its been a hot minute since I have done Friday Letters, so I thought I would resurrect that for today..

Welcome to Friday the 13th!

Dear Human Race, stop taking everything so damn seriously - no one gets out alive. Stop being so easy to "offend" all this PC behavior these days is so out of hand you are charging a 6 year old with sexual harassment for kissing his crush on the hand.

Also while you are at it population of the earth - purchase some common sense. It boggles my mind that not a lot of you have any!!

Dear Whomever hired the sign language interpreter for the Nelson Mandela memorial service WTAF?? No seriously, What the fuck, especially after this quote was released  "The sign language interpreter widely ridiculed for his 'fake' performance at the Nelson Mandela memorial says he's a fully qualified interpreter and claims that no one says he's interpreted wrong. Thamsanqa Jantjie reluctantly acknowledged that he is a "patient receiving treatment for schizophrenia." Jantjie still says he thinks he's been a champion of sign language"

Dear FB Peeps, Bitstrips?? Please let that crap die - or at least stop sharing them directly from a FB album so that my setting "block everything from bitstrips" will work.. I hate those damn things and I am getting ready to send chain mail to all you asses who do this..

Dear Hollywood - stop photoshopping the snot out of things. YOU are a huge reason women have body issues..

Dear UPS please hurry and deliver my new mattress!!  (Yes I will even order a new bed online)

Friday Funnies - or things that cracked me up this week.. Some maybe be repeats oh well..

Throwback Thursday

I think I was about 18 months old in these (yes I was even tall then).  Not totally sure as my mother doesn't have them labeled. You can sure tell it was the 70's though check out that checker pattern on those overalls, which I am pretty sure she made. I am also quiet sure those were the only pair of converse type shoes I have ever owned. Though I do have my eye on a pair of hot pink ones!

One thing that stands out, to me at least, is even back then my hair did what it damn well wanted to LOL! Thankfully now there is products and flat irons that tame it as best as it can be tamed.  I also attempt to dress better, at least now I get to pick my own clothes..

So What Wednesday

I have been MIA the first half of the week, sorry I have been running non stop since last Friday..

So What:

If there are 2 weeks before Christmas, I have a calender I know this retailers stop emailing me this information your stressing me the hell out.

If you think the Star Wars toys all over my office are silly - I like them.

If its December - I am sick of being cold already!!

If its the way you have always done it, its wrong and shouldn't be done that way.

If you think your snide comments are cute, you really are just bitchy.
 

December 5th and I am already over it

There I said it, I am over it. Its only the 5th of December and I am Christmased out.  Seems like its been dragged out for months now thanks to the retailers starting earlier and earlier each year.

This year I noticed Christmas things out before Halloween. So now it feels like its been 3 months of the "holidays" already and I am pretty much "meh" at this point. Which honestly is sad. I get that its a make or break season for retailers - but for fucks sake knock it off so damn early. It does you no good if by the time Dec 15th comes around people are so sick of of it all they shouty and stabby.

I really do feel that the day AFTER Thanksgiving is soon enough.  Unless reined in I am sure that retailers will have their Black Friday sales with the Labor day sales.

I AM glad that the radio stations here have chilled on the 24 hour Christmas music. For a few years the major stations around here started the 24 hour 7 days a week onslaught of Christmas music on November 1st. There really is only so many times you can hear "Christmas Shoes" before being placed on a 5150 hold - Just saying...

So What Wednesday

So what:

If you think Santa shouldn't be escorted by fighter jets. NORAD is the one who tracks Santa - they are Military and frankly its cool as hell.. take a Xanax and shut up. (yes there really is a group of people pissed off about the picture on the Santa tracker of Fighter jets escorting Santa)

If you like that freaking camel - I'm sick of him.

If you think my interest in the Royals (not the baseball team) and their history is silly.  I don't get your fascination with owls, tea pots ETC....

If we don't decorate a tree for Christmas - its just the 2 of us anymore and its a small living room!

Wednesday's funny...

Catching Up

Well that 5 day's past in a blur. I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving..  We had a good day hanging out at my sister in laws. The only thing missing was my daughter and grandbaby, both were sick.. and I am told he a had a seriously cute suit that I would have loved to see him in..

I did hang out with this little Princess, she was all snuggly and a sweet.

Friday I attempted to go shopping later in the day - I did not do any midnight sales this year, and frankly I am glad. When I got to Kohl's around 1-ish Friday afternoon the lines were still insane and people were rude as hell. I looked around for about 20 minutes and the left. I figured I'd mess with that Saturday.

I did have a moment of insanity and went to the mall. It was not as bad as I expected. I great some great deals on stuff for Little Mister and a hoodie that I have been searching for all over for a little over a year now.  Its a pain to find a hoodie that zips completely up with thumb holes that's priced under $60. Who'd a thunk.

I did finally get to Kohl's Saturday and do some shopping. Mostly D and I got stuff we needed. Though I did manage to score my father in laws Christmas present and $30 in Kohl's cash, so I will be headed back this week for some new jeans. 

Sunday was the day I have been waiting for, for months - The Denver V Kansas City game.. My lord did I have a blast. It was a great game in which my Broncos played great and came out victorious - we have beat the Chiefs in both games we played them in this year. I'm sure that will keep the flame up on the intense rivalry. It did make it easier to walk out of that stadium in orange and blue!

Practice shots before the game... 

Towards the end of the game when the sun went down and it got COLD... 

The only thing that put a dark cloud over a great day was when we discovered that while we were in the stadium (around half time) there was an altercation in the parking lot in the row ahead of where we were parked that resulted in the death of a man. Details are still sketchy on what went down and what caused his death. 

For a while we didn't really even know why were still sitting in the parking lot with no one moving until I got a text from my mother in law asking if we were ok as the news was just reporting a homicide. With all the vehicles and the tailgating in front of us it was not obvious at first that there was an issue. We started looking around and diagonally in front of us with a partially obstructed view was the crime scene tape. We sat parked for over an hour and finally made it home 2.5 hours after the game. 

Monday I became one with the couch & DVR not moving until about 7:30 that night when I went to go do some grocery shopping for the week where I spotted this..

I have already had people request NO Christmas presents!!! HAHA 

Manic Monday - Vacation repost ... How to Spot a Bad Girl

Last day of vacation and a recovery day from being at the Chiefs Bronco's game yesterday - recap of the past week coming tomorrow

.... Repost from one of my first ever entries and always a favorite...

How to spot a bad girl

Bad girls sip only champagne and cocktails - not beer, wine, sherry, mineral water, cafe latte, or Darjeeling tea. Think Martinis, Stingers, Black Russians. Bad girls prefer spandex, halters, high heels, fishnet stockings, silk, suede, leather, or white satin cut on the bias and black satin cut down to here.

Bad girls have blond, raven or flaming tresses, red mouths and nails. Think Mae West, Rita Hayworth, Ava Gardner. But the baddest girls have mousy brown hair. Bad girls wear capri pants, mules, cashmere or mohair twinsets, silk scarves covering their pin curls and black sunglasses to the grocery store, then don black tuxedos and silver fox boas at night.Bad girls are in touch with their inner bitch because they run with dobermans wearing studded black leather collars.

Bad girls travel to Vegas with their ex's gold card while their own name is still on it. Are passionately loyal to their friends. Have been known to torture those who break the hearts of pals. Bad girls call the psychic friends network. Have their own astrologer. Know a cusp is not an intimately transmitted condition.

Bad girls listen to Billy Holiday. Know the importance of regular waxing. Bad girls exercise muscles the rest of us don't even know we have. Bad girls smell expensive and never leave the house without wearing fabulous earrings. Read Nietzsche. Buy the National Enquirer. Can pronounce Goethe and recite Fleurs du Mal. Bad girls use cigarette holders; really bad girls attend cigar dinners.Bad girls like disguises: they like presenting themselves as perfect moms, ice princesses, and librarians.

Bad girls are passionate while the rest of the world is cool. Prefer gold to silver. Bare their midriffs, never their souls. Bad girls make hay on Ralph Lauren sheets. Bad girls never marry for love which is why they often change their names. Really bad girls have numbered bank accounts. Bad girls know it's not the cards your dealt but how well you play your hand. Bad girls win at blackjack. Vacation at backgammon tournaments in Monaco. Frequent pool halls but shoot billards. Have a bookie, accountant, and lawyer on retainer.

Bad girls send large checks to good causes and never take a tax deduction. Bad girls don't just want to have fun, they make sure they do. Bad girls are committed to the philosophy of personal pleasure.Most of us are only bad girls in our dreams. But there's a pattern in bad-girl lifestyle that deserves contemplation. Bad girls buy what they want to buy, eat what they want to eat, wear what they want to wear, sleep when they want to sleep.

Bad girls do not have therapists because they don't need them. Instead, they have housekeepers and masseuses.Bad girls realize this isn't a dress rehearsal. Real life is what you make of it.You can be bad. You can be good. You just sure as hell better be authentic."