Its Really Time to Stop Ladies....

Its 2019, last year was supposed to be a huge shift in how woman are treated both by men and other woman and YET  the casual digs are still there especially in how women view/treat other women. Especially when we don't even know the other person. 

Case in point I was scrolling through my Instagram feed this morning and stopped at a post from a fashion blogger for an outfit recreation pic. The outfit was adorable and she pretty much nailed it.. Then I read the caption and thought damn are we still pulling this - it was in regards to the model's size and assumptions on what she might eat, if anything at all.  Sigh, in reality, we as women have not evolved at all, still putting down some unknown woman, making assumptions about what she does or doesn't eat either for a giggle or to make yourself feel better about yourself.

The thing is the blogger is gorgeous in her own right, she didn't need to add that afterthought in for validation, yet there it was. My first thought was how on earth are we going to be treated better and respected more when we can't even treat each and respect each other. Lead by example ladies. It's time to seriously stop putting each other down and treat each other respectfully. We are not going to get anyone to view us the way we want to be if we are acting nasty to each other. We say we deserve better treatment - live it don't just give it lip service. 

2019 ... The Year of Less

Well hiya 2019, after 2018 I am very glad to see you!!! I have big plans for us. I also have plans for LESS... Less stress, fewer things, less drama, less well just LESS !!


With 2018 picking the theme of change and growth for me - this year I am choosing less.  In the next few weeks, I will start looking in my closet and getting rid of the stuff that doesn't make me joyful. The clothes that I am hanging on to because "what if", or it was a gift or that was expensive.. Meh, if it is uncomfortable to wear, doesn't suit my style or make me feel like a trillion bucks when I put it on to the donation pile it goes. It does not matter what it costs if it never sees the light of day!

Same with unused gifts - I appreciate the thought in the gift, I truly do but that doesn't mean I signed up to haul it around for life. Once it's been gifted - the giftee may do as they please with it. Unfortunately, that may mean it gets a new home. I come from 2 generations of woman who are hoarders - I flat refuse to be one, the thought of stuff everywhere sets my anxiety off the charts. I'm just saying no.

I will also be culling all the paper I have sitting around - I have opted out of prescreening notices in the mail - that helps two-fold; less paper and less debt as I am saying NO to that as well - I do all my banking online and can get statements there if I need them I have signed up for paperless billing for all my utilities. I can get texted/emailed reminders that it is coming due. I log on to their website and pay it from there.. easy peasy.

I have also culled some friendships that were not true friendships. There is not one valid reason anyone should have to wonder who is a true friend and who is not. When the outside world is more than ready to take shots at you, you should never fear that it is happening from your own inner circle. I refuse to deal with that anymore, in a friend, in a relationship, in those who are supposed to be your tribe.  It causes stress and heartache - both of which are also in the less category.

There are a few more things I will be adding in to the "less of" as the year goes on - I thought, however, I would start here. There is nothing worse than such a long list that a person gets overwhelmed by the sheer volume of it that they toss up their hands and throw in the towel before things even begin.  Since most of this will be unlearning decades of behavior I thought starting here and adding on as the year goes by was a good way to begin.

What's your word this year? 

2018 The Year ...... Change and Growth

I do not even know how to title 2018 much less put a summary on it... Heaven knows there is not a bow for it. Simply put 2018 was a huge year for me, one of pivotal changes. Both good and horribly bad. I could never have dreamed that when I ended 2017 and looked toward the incoming year with so much hope how very very different it would go.

2018 was one of the biggest years of changes for me. I learned a lot - that word doesn't even begin to describe how much - I learned about the people in my life and more importantly about myself. I learned that the people I thought would always, who promised to always, have my back did not. I learned that I have strength that even after all the shit I have survived in my life I have more strength and perseverance that even I could not even fathom I possessed.

I previously blogged about how people pick words for the year and somehow the work change chose me for 2018. Everything changed. I look back and see that nothing - seriously nothing is the same.  An almost 2 decade relationship ended, I moved to a whole new city in a new state, I spent a short time in a friends home since I did not have a home to call my own. I have a new career, hell even my car decided it was time to retire.  I met new people, I have new friends who have helped me through this year more than they will ever know.

I do miss some of the people I thought would always be in my life and that they were true friendships I am grateful that this year showed me their true selves. I have learned to be careful who I confide in, whom I hold close. I have chosen to let them go, wish them well and remember that when people show you who they really are do not try to repaint the picture. When someone tells you who they are, believe them the first time. Mya Angelou was so correct in that belief.

While I am still digging out of this past year and recovering from so many changes I do see the the light at the end. I can't say that I will look back at most of 2018 with pleasure I will cherish some aspects of it. I am, however, ready to end 2018 and start fresh with 2019. I am picking my own word this time though!

Whats up Wednesday

Eating: Soup - Its cold! 

Reminiscing about: Last weekend - having 4 days off was amazing!

Loving: My heated seats. Seriously puffy heart love for those - and remote start!

I've been: Working on a research project for work 

I'm dreading:  Honestly - I can't think of a thing 

I'm working on:  Getting back into the swing of regular blogging - my mind has been making lists 

I'm excited about:  Putting up a Christmas tree for the first time in 10 years. Seriously that's how long I have 

skipped the whole tree thing.

I'm watching/reading:  Watching Game of Thrones on HBO GO.  Reading - ehhhh I have been in a 

reading slump for almost a year now.

I'm listening to:  Spotify 

I'm wearing: Leggins, sweater and ankle boots 

This weekend I'm:  Touching up a friends roots - working on Christmas presents, laundry, 

and pulling decorations from storage. 

Next month: I'll work on next month; well next month. I am living today with today's energy

Linking up with Shay  I followed Michael and found Shay's link up .. Y'all do the same! 

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TAGS: Life

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Weekend Shenanigans

How is it Thanksgiving this week?? This past weekend was a busy one - but a good one. I started crafting for Christmas presents. Honestly, I spent a good bit of time between the gathering of all the stuffs to make the stuffs then making the first part of the stuffs. Clear as mud? Good *wink*  I decided this year to craft the adults gifts.

The kiddos will get some small things but I am not in a place to buy all the stuff. With that being said, how much of it is actually appreciated. In 3 days (if that) they forget most of what they got and the attention is focused on the one or two "I'm gonna cease to breathe if I do not possess this item" item. So I am focusing on the few small things.

Saturday I went to Wal-Mart and Michaels for supplies. Thankfully I remembered Michaels always has online coupons and Saturday did not disappoint there was a 50% off coupon for one item they always take it from the most expensive item instead of the least as most stores do. I  made a few testers then felt confident in what I was doing to start on the gifts. Nothing like learning new skills for Christmas presents right?!

Saturday night was dinner and a movie. Let me just say Bohemian Rapsody is EVERYTHING I had wanted it to be. It was an awesome movie.  I can see buying that on DVD. I want to see it again to pick up on the little things one always misses on the first viewing.

Sunday was errands and more crafting - somewhere in the mix of the weekend I also got laundry done and there were a few video chats with my grandbabies.

I hope y'all had a good weekend let me know how you spent it.. Link up Biana

Wednesday Confessional

Well its been awhile so why not..

1. I hate halloween - always have ... the ONLY part of me who likes it is the makeup artist in me who really just wants to paint faces and send them out to where ever they may be headed then grab a glass of wine the popcorn and a Netflix sess.

2. I STILL have a Netgally book I am trying to hard to get into - I just can't it is too predictable - to maddening at how "paint by numbers" the story is. At this point, I think its just going to get a half review and a disclaimer that I could NOT finish it. right now its only use, is as a tool to battle insomnia if it were not on my kindle I would have thrown it by now.

3. I am tired all day, get to the evening still tired - go lay down and its like oh just kidding let's go over all the catchy song lyrics from the last 20 years ..... you spin me right around....... FML 

4. I now really understand Oliva's (Scandal) wine and popcorn dinners - at the end of the day, the LAST thing I want to do is cook. What I WANT to do is kick off my shoes and sit on the couch.  A lot of times a peanut butter sandwich wins - what??? It's handled...

5. I cut off all my nails - now I can't type or text...

6. my Netflix "because you watched" section looks like I am a 14 year old ... I am not sorry.

7. I am low key pissed the stuff I pin on my Pinterest doesn't just go into my closet.

The things that have made me laugh lately

The Year of Change - 2018

Some people pick a word for the year - I never have, I understand the thought behind it. I can appreciate the motivation to embrace a word for a year instead of resolutions. I just never applied it to my own life. Apparently however a word chose me for 2018. Change picked me. This has been my biggest year of growth experiences and change that I can remember in a very long time.

Frankly most of it has been very painful, the universe decided I was to comfortable, to complacent in my own world, thus I found my world flipped inside out and upside down.  I will say that I have experienced on my own that when the Universe decides you need to make a change it will make you so uncomfortable until you have no choice but to make a change. These days I do not even recognize my own life. 

I have moved to a new city, I have a new job and I am learning a new way of just being. Its been both scary as hell and liberating all at once. I am doing things I never thought I could do.  I always knew I was a strong person but I have been learning just how much strength I have. Some days have brought me to my knees and others I have felt more joy than I have in a long time.  I know that I still have a lot to deal with and work through, but I have gotten this far and the only way out is to keep going.

While I am grateful for the lessons I am ready for things to level out a bit. I hear you Universe,  thank you for the new challenges, new experiences and the strength, I know I was only supposed to pay bills and die, life is to be really lived - but I think I will pick my own word for next year. Deal? Deal.