Some birthdays you're just like meh ok and others your are like WHOA slow the eff down.. This one's a slow the eff down. This morning I realized this is my last day in my early 40's tomorrow I will be considered mid-forties like what the actual fuck man... How did this happen - I truly remember being a teenager and thinking OMG I will NEVER be 21 like come on already! Remember that feeling?
Now it all just feels like a fast moving train. You just wake up and think, wait wasn't I just 25 and dancing at the bar on ladies night last week? Now I sleep "wrong" and end up at the Chiropractor twice a week. My favorite song comes on the radio and I am bopping along singing my heart out like a feature at the Bon Jovi concert when the DJ does his little DJ thing at the end and firmly says its "Classic vinyl" RUDE!!
Somethings have changed for the better as you get older there is less trivial things that bother you. You are more apt to chuck those in the "fuck it bucket" than to pick them apart and analyze the hell out of it. In your forties, you're more "this is me" than trying to be what someone wants you to be. Thus if you get to this point and you find you are not who you know yourself to be you are more confident in saying "No, this isn't working for me".
This past year was a huge learning year for me. It was the first time I'd truly ever lived alone. It was a very empowering year, to be frank about it. I learned A LOT about me and what I, as a person on her own, is able to accomplish. I still have some learning and growing to do, we all do. The day you stop learning and growing is the day you die and I am not ready to curl up and go sit in a pasture somewhere soaking up the sun.. Now the beach............
I see you 45, lets do this!