Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Confessions of a dental phobe

Ok its been well over a year since I have blogged. I admit to it lets move on.

In a little over 24 hours I have a dental appointment. To those who know me this is BIG.. I have always said I'd rather give birth naturally to octuplets than to see the dentist. This past week and a half - ummm not so much.

I woke up Saturday May 30th feeling like I had been worked over by Mike Tyson with a luieville slugger. I went to the dentist that following Monday received antibiotics (which are their own evil btw), pain pills and a little slip of paper that refers to me to yet another tool wielding white coat wearing object of my massive fear that pretty much says "yank it the fuck out!" Since the pain has only mildly improved since them I say bring it on!!!

Me hollering Bring it on in regards to a member of the dental profession is HUGE, monumental even. I rank those people up there with clowns (come on Penny Wise fucked us ALL up). I have always had a bad experience sitting in that chair, so much so that now I climb in it forget that I am 35 curl up in a fetal position, suck my thumb and refuse to remove it an open my mouth. Any wonder why ALL of them demand I now be medicated to even call the dental office?? I do have some Valium in reserve for tomorrow's adventure.

At this point the only thing I can say that I am apprehensive about is that 5 foot needle going into my mouth. Which floors most people since I have tattoos and some body piercing (my navel you perv not THAT!) My response to that is I'm not now nor do I even have the desire to tattoo or pierce my mouth DUH that shit HURTS!!

After this procedure I do have plans to restore the rest of my mouth, as I have come to realize, the pain and discomfort that is brought forth is nothing compared to the last week and a half not does it last that damn long, and the fact I have been in pain like this is my own damn fault) write that shit on your calendar, I admitted to it and in PRINT even) because I have neglected my dental health for so long out of plain fear.

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