Thursday, May 26, 2005

The resume of all resumes

In our office mail today we received a resume. We are not hiring but tend to get an occasional one anyway. This folks was the resume to top them all. As well all know your resume speaks volumes about you before the face to face interview. To impress it needs to be the best of what you have right? If this is the best that this poor soul has I don't want to meet them on a bad day.

It starts off like a typical resume, education yaada yaada. Then it goes on to explain that they took the bar exam twice and did not pass. Ok no biggie. This personal also has a BA in English, but no certifiate (hmmm you think, yeah I did too.) Then it gets really good.

The person has experience in food service working at Burger King (I think we all have had some sorta fast food job at one point in life) however they are no longer there due to drug addiction (since abandoned) <~ yes this comment really appears after this in this manner. And food service is impossible because acquired Hepatitus C.

They then go on to explain a 17 year absence from the work force due to a recent (yep they speficied recent) recovery from schizophrenia.

It is ended by stating that their hobbies include writing short stories (one novel) and that they would like to take banjo lessions.. (insert theme from Delverance here).

There are no skills listed, and due to the fact it was written on an old fashioned type writer, typos and all, makes one question computer skills. I think one of my favorite parts is that it is titles RESUME and underlined at the top.

This resume makes all Human Resource workers everywhere shudder. This Darlin's is no way to write a resume.

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